Round the Block: An American NovelBouton, John Bell
General
Round the Block: An American Novel
Bouton, John Bell
City and town life -- Fiction; Male friendship -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
Mr. Tiffles shook hands with Marcus Wilkeson, giving him the grip of
some unknown Order, slapped Overtop on the back, and playfully pulled
the whiskers of Maltboy. Then he filled a pipe, threw himself into a
chair, adjusted his legs in the true form of a compass, and opened his
coat ostentatiously. All this in about ten seconds, and with a geniality
that defied reproof. He was the very embodiment of cheer.
"Prepare to be astonished," said Mr. Tiffles, after his third whiff. "I
have a splendid idea." The three bachelors smiled, and nodded an
intimation that they were prepared,
"I have had some impracticable notions in my time; but this _is_ good,
and you'll say so. You know that dog, Mark, two doors below--the large
yellow one, with cropped ears, and a tail like the handle of a
shaving brush?"
Mr. Wilkeson replied that he had the pleasure of the animal's
acquaintance,
"Well, as I was passing the dog's house on my way here, I slipped in the
snow. The dog, always on the alert for victims, took a mean advantage of
my situation, and jumped after me through the open gate. I scrambled to
my feet, but not before he had fastened his teeth in my right leg----"
"Good heavens! was he mad?" cried Overtop, who had a horror of dogs, and
made wide circuits about them in the street.
"Can't say as to that," replied Wesley Tiffles, "but advise you to keep
shy of him for the future, I was about to say that he bit me through the
leg of my trowsers. And on that very instant, as if by inspiration, I
caught--not the hydrophobia, but a magnificent idea. Having got on my
pins, I kicked the dog into his front yard, and immediately worked the
idea into shape. You'll be sure to like it."
Marcus Wilkeson, speaking for self and friends, said he had no doubt of
that. Mr. Tiffles's ideas always possessed the merit of novelty.
"That means that they have no other merit!" returned Tiffles, laughing,
"Very true of most of them, I confess all my failures. But here is an
idea which even you, skeptic as you are, will grant to be not only
novel, but great. You have all observed, gentlemen, the immense
differences in dogs. There are white, black, brown, gray, yellow (like
our suggestive canine friend two doors below), tan-colored,
mouse-colored, striped, and spotted dogs. There are round dogs, square
dogs, long dogs, short dogs, tall dogs, and low dogs. There are
full-grown dogs that weigh less than a pound, and others that kick the
beam at a hundred pounds. There are dogs that are pretty much all tail,
and there are dogs that have no tail to speak of. Among all the dogs
that you meet in the street, do you ever see two exactly alike?"
Fayette Overtop, who spoke from extensive and minute observation,
unhesitatingly said "No."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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