Round the Block: An American NovelBouton, John Bell
General
Round the Block: An American Novel
Bouton, John Bell
City and town life -- Fiction; Male friendship -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
His method was this. When the palm tree came in sight, he would give a
minute account of that noble tropical growth, and the many uses to which
it and its products could be put. When a flock of wild ducks appeared
sailing majestically on the river, he would entertain his auditors with
a circumstantial description of how the natives caught wild ducks. A
boat or hollow log, with a human figure, suggested a reference to the
progress which the African had made in marine architecture and the
science of navigation. In this way, Tiffles thought he was beguiling his
customers. Some low sounds, like suppressed hisses, soon convinced him
of his error.
"I beg your pardon, Professor," said a thick-set voice, which he always
recognized as coming from C. Skimmerhorn, Esq.; "but it seems to me that
this portion of your panorama is a little monotonous. I presume that in
this suggestion, I express the sentiments of my fellow citizens here
assembled." Cries of "Go on, Square!" "That's so!" mingled with a
vigorous stamping of feet and catcalls from the boys in the background,
proved, alas! the truth of the conjecture.
Tiffles coughed twice for the idiot to stop, and was sagaciously obeyed.
"In behalf of Africa," he remarked, "representing her, as I may say, on
this occasion, I would beg leave to apologize to the learned gentleman
for the poverty of her scenery, at this stage of the panorama. If Africa
had been aware of the learned gentleman's preferences, she would,
doubtless, have got up some stunning effects for him in places where now
you see only a river, a sky, and a strip of green bank, all unadorned,
precisely as they are."
The exquisite irony of this retort pleased the audience, and elicited
general though faint applause, and several cries of "Shut up, Skim!"
"Got your match, old boy!" "Oh! let the man go on!" The last remark
issued from the gentlemanly conductor, and fell with peculiar pleasure
on Tiffles's ears.
"One word more, and I am done," resumed the lawyer, who was
professionally calm amid scenes of disturbance. "I only wish to elicit
the truth. Have you, and your artist (Mr. Chicory, I think you call
him), or either of you, actually gone over the scenery here represented.
We wish to understand that point!"
"We have, both of us, gone over this scenery repeatedly." This was true,
as both Tiffles and Patching, anticipating some such question, had
stepped over the canvas back and forth, in rolling and unrolling it,
several times. "Is the eminent counsellor satisfied?"
"Oh! yes," said C. Skimmerhorn, Esq., in a voice which signified that
he knew the panorama was a humbug, but, unfortunately, couldn't
prove it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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