England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“I know you wish me to tell you, in my turn, of something which I have
learnt during my life. I could tell you something of my own life, and
of a life dearer still to my memory; but I have shunk from narrating
anything so purely personal. Yet, shrink as I will, no other but those
sad recollections will present themselves to my mind. I call them sad
when I think of the end of it all. However, I am not going to moralize.
If my dear brother’s life and death does not speak for itself, no words
of mine will teach you what may be learnt from it.”
THE HALF-BROTHERS
My mother was twice married. She never spoke of her first husband, and
it is only from other people that I have learnt what little I know
about him. I believe she was scarcely seventeen when she was married to
him: and he was barely one-and-twenty. He rented a small farm up in
Cumberland, somewhere towards the sea-coast; but he was perhaps too
young and inexperienced to have the charge of land and cattle: anyhow,
his affairs did not prosper, and he fell into ill health, and died of
consumption before they had been three years man and wife, leaving my
mother a young widow of twenty, with a little child only just able to
walk, and the farm on her hands for four years more by the lease, with
half the stock on it dead, or sold off one by one to pay the more
pressing debts, and with no money to purchase more, or even to buy the
provisions needed for the small consumption of every day. There was
another child coming, too; and sad and sorry, I believe, she was to
think of it. A dreary winter she must have had in her lonesome
dwelling, with never another near it for miles around; her sister came
to bear her company, and they two planned and plotted how to make every
penny they could raise go as far as possible. I can’t tell you how it
happened that my little sister, whom I never saw, came to sicken and
die; but, as if my poor mother’s cup was not full enough, only a
fortnight before Gregory was born the little girl took ill of scarlet
fever, and in a week she lay dead. My mother was, I believe, just
stunned with this last blow. My aunt has told me that she did not cry;
aunt Fanny would have been thankful if she had; but she sat holding the
poor wee lassie’s hand and looking in her pretty, pale, dead face,
without so much as shedding a tear. And it was all the same, when they
had to take her away to be buried. She just kissed the child, and sat
her down in the window-seat to watch the little black train of people
(neighbours—my aunt, and one far-off cousin, who were all the friends
they could muster) go winding away amongst the snow, which had fallen
thinly over the country the night before. When my aunt came back from
the funeral, she found my mother in the same place, and as dry-eyed as
ever. So she continued until after Gregory was born; and, somehow, his
coming seemed to loosen the tears, and she cried day and night, till my
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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