English essays -- 19th century; Great Britain -- Social life and customs; London (England) -- Description and travel
Having got my cattle-agent out of the door, I resume my consideration of
that little mark on the doorpost, which is scored up as the text of the
present little sermon; and which I hope will relate, not to chalk, nor
to any of its special uses or abuses (such as milk, neck-powder, and the
like), but to servants. Surely ours might remove that unseemly little
mark. Suppose it were on my coat, might I not request its removal?
I remember, when I was at school, a little careless boy, upon whose
forehead an ink-mark remained, and was perfectly recognizable for
three weeks after its first appearance. May I take any notice of this
chalk-stain on the forehead of my house? Whose business is it to wash
that forehead? and ought I to fetch a brush and a little hot water, and
wash it off myself?
Yes. But that spot removed, why not come down at six, and wash the
doorsteps? I dare say the early rising and exercise would do me a great
deal of good. The housemaid, in that case, might lie in bed a little
later, and have her tea and the morning paper brought to her in bed:
then, of course, Thomas would expect to be helped about the boots and
knives; cook about the saucepans, dishes, and what not; the lady's-maid
would want somebody to take the curl-papers out of her hair, and get
her bath ready. You should have a set of servants for the servants,
and these under servants should have slaves to wait on them. The king
commands the first lord in waiting to desire the second lord to intimate
to the gentleman usher to request the page of the ante-chamber to
entreat the groom of the stairs to implore John to ask the captain of
the buttons to desire the maid of the still-room to beg the housekeeper
to give out a few more lumps of sugar, as his Majesty has none for his
coffee, which probably is getting cold during the negotiation. In our
little Brentfords we are all kings, more or less. There are orders,
gradations, hierarchies, everywhere. In your house and mine there are
mysteries unknown to us. I am not going in to the horrid old question
of “followers.” I don't mean cousins from the country, love-stricken
policemen, or gentlemen in mufti from Knightsbridge Barracks; but people
who have an occult right on the premises; the uncovenanted servants
of the house; gray women who are seen at evening with baskets flitting
about area-railings; dingy shawls which drop you furtive curtsies in
your neighborhood; demure little Jacks, who start up from behind boxes
in the pantry. Those outsiders wear Thomas's crest and livery, and call
him “Sir;” those silent women address the female servants as “Mum,” and
curtsy before them, squaring their arms over their wretched lean aprons.
Then, again, those servi servorum have dependants in the vast, silent,
poverty-stricken world outside your comfortable kitchen fire, in the
world of darkness, and hunger, and miserable cold, and dank, flagged
cellars, and huddled straw, and rags, in which pale children are
swarming.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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