was of a black humour to his house-mates. When approaching the object of
this deadly fascination, his whole organisation seemed to be dissolved.
He walked in a dream that filled him with a sense of sickly torture,
commixed with sicklier delight.
People speak with precisely marked division of mind and body, of will,
emotion, understanding; the division is good in logic, but its
convenient lines are lost to us as we watch a being with soul all
blurred, body all shaken, unstrung, poisoned, by erotic mania, rising in
slow clouds of mephitic steam from suddenly heated stagnancies of the
blood, and turning the reality of conduct and duty into distant
unmeaning shadows. If such a disease were the furious mood of the brute
in spring-time, it would be less dreadful, but shame and remorse in the
ever-struggling reason of man or woman in the grip of the foul thing,
produces an aggravation of frenzy that makes the mental healer tremble.
Add to all this lurking elements of hollow rage that his passion was not
returned; of stealthy jealousy of the younger man whose place he could
not take, and who was his friend besides; of suspicion that he was a
little despised for his weakness by the very object of it, who saw that
his hairs were sprinkled with gray,--and the whole offers a scene of
moral humiliation that half sickens, half appals, and we turn away with
dismay as from a vision of the horrid loves of heavy-eyed and scaly
shapes that haunted the warm primeval ooze.
Madame d'Houdetot, the unwilling enchantress bearing in an unconscious
hand the cup of defilement, was not strikingly singular either in
physical or mental attraction. She was now seven-and-twenty. Small-pox,
the terrible plague of the country, had pitted her face and given a
yellowish tinge to her complexion; her features were clumsy and her brow
low; she was short-sighted, and in old age at any rate was afflicted by
an excessive squint. This homeliness was redeemed by a gentle and
caressing expression, and by a sincerity, a gaiety of heart, and free
sprightliness of manner, that no trouble could restrain. Her figure was
very slight, and there was in all her movements at once awkwardness and
grace. She was natural and simple, and had a fairly good judgment of a
modest kind, in spite of the wild sallies in which her spirits sometimes
found vent. Capable of chagrin, she was never prevented by it from
yielding to any impulse of mirth. "She weeps with the best faith in the
world, and breaks out laughing at the same moment; never was anybody so
happily born," says her much less amiable sister-in-law.[270] Her
husband was indifferent to her. He preserved an attachment to a lady
whom he knew before his marriage, whose society he never ceased to
frequent, and who finally died in his arms in 1793. Madame d'Houdetot
found consolation in the friendship of Saint Lambert. "We both of us,"
said her husband, "both Madame d'Houdetot and I, had a vocation for
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