Humorous stories; Valets -- Fiction; Washington (State) -- Fiction
Being presented to the callers, I am bound to say that the Honourable
George showed himself to be immensely impressed by Belknap-Jackson,
whom I had never beheld more perfectly vogue in all his appointments.
He became, in fact, rather moody in the presence of this subtle
niceness of detail, being made conscious, I dare say, of his own
sloppy lounge-suit, rumpled cravat, and shocking boots, and despite
Belknap-Jackson’s amiable efforts to draw him into talk about hunting
in the shires and our county society at home, I began to fear that
they would not hit it off together. The Honourable George did,
however, consent to drive with his caller the following day, and I
relied upon the tandem to recall him to his better self. But when the
callers had departed he became quite almost plaintive to me.
“I say, you know, I shan’t be wanted to pal up much with that chap,
shall I? I mean to say, he wears so many clothes. They make me writhe
as if I wore them myself. It won’t do, you know.”
I told him very firmly that this was piffle of the most wretched sort.
That his caller wore but the prescribed number of garments, each vogue
to the last note, and that he was a person whom one must know. He
responded pettishly that he vastly preferred the gentleman driver with
whom he had spent the afternoon, and “Sour-dough,” as he was now
calling Cousin Egbert.
“Jolly chaps, with no swank,” he insisted. “We drove quite almost
everywhere--waterworks, cemetery, sash-and-blind factory. You know I
thought ‘blind factory’ was some of their bally American slang for the
shop of a chap who made eyeglasses and that sort of thing, but nothing
of the kind. They saw up timbers there quite all over the place and
nail them up again into articles. It’s all quite foreign.”
Nor was his account of his drive with Belknap-Jackson the following
day a bit more reassuring.
“He wouldn’t stop again at the sash-and-blind factory, where I wished
to see the timbers being sawed and nailed, but drove me to a country
club which was not in the country and wasn’t a club; not a human
there, not even a barman. Fancy a club of that sort! But he took me to
his own house for a glass of sherry and a biscuit, and there it wasn’t
so rotten. Rather a mother-in-law I think, she is--bally old booming
grenadier--topping sort--no end of fun. We palled up immensely and I
quite forgot the Jackson chap till it was time for him to drive me
back to these diggings. Rather sulky he was, I fancy; uppish sort.
Told him the old one was quite like old Caroline, dowager duchess of
Clewe, but couldn’t tell if it pleased him. Seemed to like it and
seemed not to: rather uncertain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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