Humorous stories; Valets -- Fiction; Washington (State) -- Fiction
How different, I reflected, had been my own entrée into this county
society! As well as I might I again carried off the day for the
Honourable George, endeavouring from time to time to put him at his
ease, yet he breathed an unfeigned sigh of relief when the last guest
had left and he could resume his cribbage with Cousin Egbert. But he
had received one impression of which I was glad: an impression of my
own altered social quality, for I had graced the occasion with an
urbanity which was as far beyond him as it must have been astonishing.
It was now that he began to take seriously what I had told him of my
business enterprise, so many of the guests having mentioned it to him
in terms of the utmost enthusiasm. After my first accounts to him he
had persisted in referring to it as a tuck-shop, a sort of place where
schoolboys would exchange their halfpence for toffy, sweet-cakes, and
marbles.
Now he demanded to be shown the premises and was at once duly
impressed both with their quiet elegance and my own business acumen.
How it had all come about, and why I should be addressed as “Colonel
Ruggles” and treated as a person of some importance in the community,
I dare say he has never comprehended to this day. As I had planned to
do, I later endeavoured to explain to him that in North America
persons were almost quite equal to one another--being born so--but at
this he told me not to be silly and continued to regard my rise as an
insoluble part of the strangeness he everywhere encountered, even
after I added that Demosthenes was the son of a cutler, that Cardinal
Wolsey’s father had been a pork butcher, and that Garfield had worked
on a canal-boat. I found him quite hopeless. “Chaps go dotty talkin’
that piffle,” was his comment.
At another time, I dare say, I should have been rather distressed over
this inability of the Honourable George to comprehend and adapt
himself to the peculiarities of American life as readily as I had
done, but just now I was quite too taken up with the details of my
opening to give it the deeper consideration it deserved. In fact,
there were moments when I confessed to myself that I did not care
tuppence about it, such was the strain upon my executive faculties.
When decorators and furnishers had done their work, when the choice
carpet was laid, when the kitchen and table equipments were completed
to the last detail, and when the lighting was artistically correct,
there was still the matter of service.
As to this, I conceived and carried out what I fancy was rather a
brilliant stroke, which was nothing less than to eliminate the fellow
Hobbs as a social factor of even the Bohemian set. In contracting with
him for my bread and rolls, I took an early opportunity of setting the
chap in his place, as indeed it was not difficult to do when he had
observed the splendid scale on which I was operating. At our second
interview he was removing his hat and addressing me as “sir.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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