Humorous stories; Valets -- Fiction; Washington (State) -- Fiction
It must not be supposed that I had been free during these months from
annoyance and chagrin at the manner in which the Honourable George was
conducting himself. In the beginning it was hoped both by
Belknap-Jackson and myself that he might do no worse than merely
consort with the rougher element of the town. I mean to say, we
suspected that the apparent charm of the raffish cattle-persons might
suffice to keep him from any notorious alliance with the dreaded
Bohemian set. So long as he abstained from this he might still be
received at our best homes, despite his regrettable fondness for low
company. Even when he brought the murderer Spilmer to dine with him at
my place, the thing was condoned as a freakish grotesquerie in one
who, of unassailable social position, might well afford to stoop
momentarily.
I must say that the murderer--a heavy-jowled brute of husky voice, and
quite lacking a forehead--conducted himself on this occasion with an
entirely decent restraint of manner, quite in contrast to the
Honourable George, who betrayed an expansively naïve pride in his
guest, seeming to wish the world to know of the event. Between them
they consumed a fair bottle of the relish. Indeed, the Honourable
George was inordinately fond of this, as a result of which he would
often come out quite spotty again. Cousin Egbert was another who
became so addicted to it that his fondness might well have been called
a vice. Both he and the Honourable George would drench quite every
course with the sauce, and Cousin Egbert, with that explicit
directness which distinguished his character, would frankly sop his
bread-crusts in it, or even sip it with a coffee-spoon.
As I have intimated, in spite of the Honourable George’s affiliations
with the slum-characters of what I may call Red Gap’s East End, he had
not yet publicly identified himself with the Klondike woman and her
Bohemian set, in consequence of which--let him dine and wine a Spilmer
as he would--there was yet hope that he would not alienate himself
from the North Side set.
At intervals during the early months of his sojourn among us he
accepted dinner invitations at the Grill from our social leaders; in
fact, after the launching of the International Relish, I know of none
that he declined, but it was evident to me that he moved but
half-heartedly in this higher circle. On one occasion, too, he
appeared in the trousers of a lounge-suit of tweeds instead of his
dress trousers, and with tan boots. The trousers, to be sure, were of
a sombre hue, but the brown boots were quite too dreadfully
unmistakable. After this I may say that I looked for anything, and my
worst fears were soon confirmed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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