Humorous stories; Valets -- Fiction; Washington (State) -- Fiction
“Well, that’s what I thought, too, but I guess the Judge forgot it, or
mebbe he thinks the guy will mix in better with Mis’ Kenner’s crowd.
Anyway, there they was, and it probably didn’t make any difference to
the guy himself. He likely thought he could while away the tejum there
as well as he could while it any place, all of them being such good
scouts. And the Judge has certainly got a case on Mis’ Kenner, so
mebby she asked him to drop in with any friend of his. She’s got him
bridle-wise and broke to all gaits.” He visibly groped for an
illumining phrase. “He--he just looks at her.”
The simple words fell upon my ears with a sickening finality. “He just
looks at her.” I had seen him “just look” at the typing-girl and at
the Brixton milliner. All too fearfully I divined their preposterous
significance. Beyond question a black infamy had been laid bare, but I
made no effort to convey its magnitude to my guileless informant. As I
left him he was mildly bemoaning his own lack of skill on the
pianoforte.
“Darned if I don’t wish I’d ‘a’ took some lessons on the piano myself
like that guy done. It certainly does help to while away the tejum
when you got friends in for the afternoon. But then I was just a
hill-billy. Likely I couldn’t have learned the notes good.”
It was a half-hour later that I was called to the telephone to listen
to the anguished accents of Belknap-Jackson.
“Have you heard it?” he called. I answered that I had.
“The man is a paranoiac. He should be at once confined in an asylum
for the criminal insane.”
“I shall row him fiercely about it, never fear. I’ve not seen him
yet.”
“But the creature should be watched. He may do harm to himself or to
some innocent person. They--they run wild, they kill, they burn--set
fire to buildings--that sort of thing. I tell you, none of us is
safe.”
“The situation,” I answered, “has even more shocking possibilities,
but I’ve an idea I shall be equal to it. If the worst seems to be
imminent I shall adopt extreme measures.” I closed the interview. It
was too painful. I wished to summon all my powers of deliberation.
To my amazement who should presently appear among my throng of
luncheon patrons but the Honourable George. I will not say that he
slunk in, but there was an unaccustomed diffidence in his bearing. He
did not meet my eye, and it was not difficult to perceive that he had
no wish to engage my notice. As he sought a vacant table I observed
that he was spotted quite profusely, and his luncheon order was of the
simplest.
Straight I went to him. He winced a bit, I thought, as he saw me
approach, but then he apparently resolved to brass it out, for he
glanced full at me with a terrific assumption of bravado and at once
began to give me beans about my service.
“Your bally tea shop running down, what! Louts for waiters, cloddish
louts! Disgraceful, my word! Slow beggars! Take a year to do you a
rasher and a bit of toast, what!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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