Rulers of kings: A novelAtherton, Gertrude Franklin Horn
General
Rulers of kings: A novel
Atherton, Gertrude Franklin Horn
Statesmen -- Fiction
inner life and fed by a memory that will keep me young till my death. I
thought of this long ago, when I met you first, but it passed from my
mind. It was more like a dream then. I know it to be a reality now. I
doubt if there can be any such actual happiness as what I shall find in
the memories of you.”
Fessenden looked at her long and intently. If she was of many and
variable moods, the moods were of an intensity and truth which
submerged the other women in her while they lasted. And he always
responded to her deeper moments so fully and so involuntarily that only
his ever-alert brain saved him from compromising his future conduct. As
in the profoundest solitude he had ever known, he looked through her
eyes into her naked soul, he had a long moment of doubt. In that cold
ideal of fulfilled duty, with her love apotheosized and spiritualized,
might she not in truth be happier than he could make her? Her state,
and the more commonplace cause of the deep chill of an Alpine midnight,
had cooled his own blood, and muffled the passionate voices in his
imagination. For a moment he too felt the white intoxication of the
ideal of a lifetime of self-immolation on the passionless shores of
duty, forecasted the serenity with which Nature rewards perpetual
striving after spiritual heights, and compensates for the voluntary
resignation of the joy of love. He darted a glance upward and was
visited by a brief illusion: he and Ranata stood alone on the highest
peak that pierced the stars. Then like Life he compromised.
“I wish for nothing less than your full and unconditional surrender,”
he said. “If, when you have had time to know yourself better than you
do now, you tell me that your decision is unalterable, I will persist
no further. I believe that you will send for me before long, but I may
be mistaken. Perhaps I have been blinded by my love, and the hopes
with which it has inspired my imagination. There may be, there are,
of course, depths in your mind of which I have no conception. These
may contain forces that will finally shut me out of your life. If
you convince me that I should add to your unhappiness by persisting,
or that I should do you a great wrong by making you mine in spite of
yourself, then I promise you here solemnly to withdraw finally from
your life; and to be as eternally faithful to you as I believe you will
be to me.”
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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