There was no sound for a while but that of her low rapid sobs. The
clocks upon the mantelpieces in the suite of rooms ticked loudly, and
their irritating metallic voices mingled strangely with the rushing
pulses of Alsager's frame, as he leant over her,--one arm round the
back of her chair, the other hand upon its velvet arm. His face was
bent above her drooping head; his thick moustache almost touched the
waved ridges of her scented hair. He implored her to speak to him; he
poured out protestation and entreaty with all the ardour of his strong
and fiery nature, with all the eloquence which slumbered in him,
unsuspected even by himself. Little by little she ceased to weep, and
at length she allowed him to see her face. Again he renewed his
entreaties, and she answered him.
"You try me too far, and I am weak. Yes, I would love you, if I
might!"
"Then you _do_ love me!" he exclaimed. "You and I are no dreaming boy
and girl, no Knight and Dame of old romance, but man and woman; and we
know that these shades of difference are merest imagination. We love
each other, and we know it. We love each other, and the acknowledgment
makes the truth no truer. I am ungenerous, you would say; I am
breaking the promise I have just made. Yes, I am; but I love you--and
you love me!" He had dropped on one knee beside her chair now, and as
he spoke he caught her hand in his. Without any sign of anger or
prudery, she withdrew her hand quietly, but resolutely, and signed to
him to rise and be seated. He obeyed her; but exultation shone out
from every line and feature of his face.
"You _are_ ungenerous," she said,--"very ungenerous, and very cruel;
but I will not the less be true in these the last words I shall say to
you. If I have dreamed of a life other than mine, of love well
bestowed and faithfully returned, it was only in the most passing,
transient visions. My lot is cast; my mind is made up; my heart is
fixed. I linger here for a few moments longer because they are the
last I shall ever pass alone with you. Do not interrupt me, or I
terminate this interview on the instant. This subject must never be
renewed,--indeed it never can be; for you know my resolution, and I
know you will respect it. The past remains with us; but the future has
no common history for you and me. When I have ceased speaking, and
that door has closed behind you, you must remember me, if you do not
see me, and regard me if you do, as a woman wholly devoted to her
wifely duty, of whom to think otherwise is to do a deadly wrong."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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