Yes, he would go; and the sooner the better. There was nothing to
detain him now. He would have liked to see Miss Gillespie perhaps:
but, after all, what good could it do? Her connection with the
Hammonds, and through them with the Mitfords, had long been at an end;
her mysterious note had warned him that her power was over; so that
what could she do? and what had he to say to her? Persons of her sort
were never safe to talk to, and were so full of caprice that she might
either resent his visit or ignore the subject of Lady Mitford
altogether; if she had ever had any interest in her, and it had been
genuine, it was not likely she retained it now. No; he would not
linger for the purpose of seeing her,--he would go at once. Whither?
To Paris first, of course; and then he would consider. Was he always
to be a wanderer? he thought; was he never to realize any of the good
resolves, to put in practice any of the views, he had been indulging
in lately? Was Knockholt to remain masterless, because he could not
settle down to the interests and the occupations which sufficed for
other and better men?--men who had not been exempted from the common
lot either;--men, to many of whom their heart's desire had not been
granted. Could he not now do as his father had done? No, not yet; the
restlessness of mental trouble was upon him; the pain of unaccustomed
moral processes; the shivering chill of the dawn of a new kind of
light and a new system of thought. No doubt this would not be always
so; after a time he could find rest and tranquillity in the duties and
enjoyments of a country baronet's existence. Was this what she meant?
Was this strength to do, and fidelity in adhering to duty, the noble
law by which she ruled her life? Were they to bring him to the
happiness which seemed so distant, so impossible? Were not the words
upon the ring her message, her counsel, her command? Ah, well, if so,
he might--he would try to follow them some day; but for the present he
must get away. Like every wounded animal, he must seek refuge in
flight, he must get him to the covert.
Sir Laurence Alsager did not remember, amid all his musings, that he
was alone in the enjoyment of this resource; that _she_ remained where
her feet trod on thorns, and heart fed on bitterness--remained in the
straight path of her duty, strong and faithful.
Yes, he would go at once,--that evening. He gave his servant the
necessary orders, and then applied himself to writing letters on
matters of business. While thus engaged a note was brought to him, and
he was informed that the bearer awaited the answer. The note was
enclosed in an oblong envelope, bordered with black about an inch
deep, so that room was barely left for the address. He knew the
handwriting well; he had been accustomed to see it in combination with
every kind of coquetry in stationery; and he smiled grimly as he noted
the mingled hypocrisy and coquetry of this very pretty and impressive
affliction in black and white.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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