"No, no, Lady Mitford," said Bligh; "he has not done that. He begged
of me to come to you, and tell you that he had gone. He would not try
to deceive you, he said; if he could induce her to allow him to remain
with her, he would, and never return to England. Yes, indeed,--so far
had his madness driven him: but at all events he would never ask you
to see him again; and whatever arrangements you might choose to make,
he would be quite prepared to carry into effect. He said he supposed
you would not remain here."
"He was mistaken," she said, very quietly and sadly; "I will remain
here. Tell me what more passed between you, Captain Bligh."
"Indeed, not much, dear Lady Mitford. He was dreadfully excited and
wretched, and looked fearfully ill,--he had been drinking deeply last
night, I am sure,--and his manner was agitated and incoherent. He
talked of his persecutions and his miseries, as every man who has the
best blessings of life at his command and throws them away does talk;
and his lamentations about this cursed infatuation of his were mixed
up with self-reproaches on your account, and imprecations on the men
who have tabooed him, and especially because he was rejected at the
Maecenas."
"Poor Charles!" said Lady Mitford musingly; "all the enemies he has
ever had could have done him little harm, had he not doubled in his
own person the strength of his enemies to injure him. He began ill;
and when he made an effort to do well, some gloomy recollection, some
haunting fear, always seemed to keep him back. There was some evil
power over him, Captain Bligh, before this woman laid her spells upon
him--a power which made him moody and wretched and reckless. This was
a subject upon which it was impossible for me to speak to him; and I
accounted for it easily enough, and I have no doubt with tolerable
correctness. You know, and I know, that the early years of Sir
Charles's life were full of dark days and questionable associations.
He was unfortunate at least as much as guilty; and not the smallest of
the misfortunes of such a career is the power it gives to miscreants
of every kind to embitter one's future and tarnish one's fame, to
blight the hopes and the efforts with which one endeavours to rise
above the mud-deposit of follies and sins repented and abandoned.
There has never been a case, I am sure, in which a man who had gone
extensively wrong, and who then tried to go right, and got a good
chance of doing it, was not pursued and persecuted by harpies of the
old brood, whose talons perpetually branded him, and whose inexorable
pursuit kept him constantly depressed and miserable. Then he will be
driven to excitement, to dissipation, to anything--which will enable
him to forget the torture; but this very necessity deprives all his
efforts of vigour, and renders him hopeless of success. I am confident
that some such merciless grinding misery lay hidden in Sir Charles's
life. I saw it very shortly after we came to town; and I had reason to
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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