_Artémy Filípovitch_ (_head of the philanthropic institutions_): Permit me, please, I shall read (_puts on his spectacles and reads_): “The postmaster is quite like the old porter in our office, and the rascal must drink equally hard.”... _Postmaster_: A naughty boy, who ought to be flogged--that’s all! _Art. Fil._ (_continues reading_): “The head of the philanthropic in--in....” _Korobkin_: Why do you stop now? _Art. Fil._: Bad writing. But, after all, it is quite evident that he is a scoundrel. _Korobkin_: Give me the letter, please. I think, I have better eyes (_tries to take the letter_). _Art. Fil._ (_does not give it_): No use at all. This passage can be omitted. Further on everything is quite readable. _Korobkin_: Let me have it. I shall see all about it. _Art. Fil._: I also can read it. I tell you that after that passage everything is readable. _Postm._: No, no, read it all. Everything was read so far. _The Guests_: Artémy Filípovitch, pass the letter over. (_To Korobkin_) Read it, read it! _Art. Fil._: All right, all right. (_He passes the letter._) There it is; but wait a moment (_he covers a part of it with his finger_). Begin here (_all surround him_). _Postma._: Go on. Nonsense, read it all. _Korobkin_ (_reads_): “The head of the philanthropic institutions resembles a pig that wears a cap”.... _Art. Fil._ (_to the audience_): Not witty at all! A pig that wears a cap! Have you ever seen a pig wearing a cap? _Korobkin_ (_continues reading_): “The inspector of the schools smells of onions all through!” _The Inspector_ (_to the audience_): Upon my honour, I never touch onions. _The Judge_ (_apart_): Thank God, there is nothing about me. _Korobkin_ (_reading_): “The judge”.... _The Judge_: There!... (_aloud_): Well, gentlemen, I think the letter is much too long, and quite uninteresting--why the deuce should we go on reading that nonsense? _Insp. of Schools_: No! no! _Postm._: No!--go on! _Art. Fil._: No, it must be read. _Korobkin_ (_continues_): “The judge Lyápkin-Tyápkin is extremely _mauvais ton_.” (_Stops._) That must be a French word? _The Judge_: The deuce knows what it means. If it were only “a robber,” then it would be all right, but it may be something worse. [13] This was in those times an expression which meant “without paying.” PART IV Turguéneff--Tolstóy CHAPTER IV TURGUÉNEFF--TOLSTÓY