"About the year 1880," Mr. Tikhomirov continues, "I, and not I alone, began to feel that our party was becoming torpid, was daily losing more and more of its vital force, which had at first seemed so great. The following year I began wondering how it was that Russia was healthy and full of life, while the revolutionary movement, that very movement which, according to our ideas, was the very manifestation of national growth, was withering and decaying. This obvious contradiction reduced me to a morbid despair. I went abroad with the sole object of publishing my recollections of the events through which I had lived. Since then, all the {207} remains of the old organisations have perished, all, all have tumbled down! Reality has given me startling lessons. One consoling hope, however, remains. I deemed it possible to rebuild our party, while remaining within it. Oh, what a self-delusion that was! In reality it was I who enslaved myself, who was prevented from thinking, from meditating, as I ought to have done! Still the strokes fell too heavily; their weight became intolerable. I felt we were on a wrong track, and urged Lopatine and the other members of our party to search for some new paths. On finding that they would not, or could not, follow my advice, in 1884 I wrote to say that I had ceased to belong to their party, and withdrew their right to use my name. Thus ended my co-operation with all their circles and organisations." There is in Mr. Tikhomirov's narrative a sincerity and truthfulness which appeal to our best nature. He is not melodramatic, he does not strain after theatrical effects, but he compels his reader to feel for him, almost to share his sorrow. But let us listen again to his own voice. "Meditating upon recent events, I wrote in my diary of March, '86--'Yes, I am definitely convinced now that revolutionary Russia--taken as a serious intelligent party--does not exist. Revolutionists still exist, and may make some noise. But it is not a storm, only ripples on the surface of a sea. Since last year one fact seems to me perfectly obvious. All our hopes have to depend henceforth on Russia, on the Russian people. As to our revolutionists, hardly anything may be expected of them. I came to the conclusion that it was absolutely necessary to {208} arrange my life so as to serve Russia according to my own instinct, independently of any party. The Nihilist party, I now see too well, can only injure Russia. My common sense and my will might remain dormant, but once they awoke I had to obey them. If my former friends could leave their graves and come to life again, I would spare no effort to induce them to follow me, and then with them, or quite alone, I would take the path which I now feel to be the true one."