Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Mothers and sons -- Fiction; Religious fiction; Unmarried mothers -- Fiction
"Look, Ruth!" it said, softly, "my brother sends you these. They are
the first snowdrops in the garden." And she put them on the pillow by
Ruth; the baby lay on the opposite side.
"Won't you look at him?" said Ruth; "he is so pretty!"
Miss Benson had a strange reluctance to see him. To Ruth, in spite
of all that had come and gone, she was reconciled--nay, more, she
was deeply attached; but over the baby there hung a cloud of shame
and disgrace. Poor little creature! her heart was closed against
it--firmly, as she thought. But she could not resist Ruth's low faint
voice, nor her pleading eyes, and she went round to peep at him as he
lay in his mother's arm, as yet his shield and guard.
"Sally says he will have black hair, she thinks," said Ruth. "His
little hand is quite a man's, already. Just feel how firmly he closes
it;" and with her own weak fingers she opened his little red fist,
and taking Miss Benson's reluctant hand, placed one of her fingers
in his grasp. That baby-touch called out her love; the doors of her
heart were thrown open wide for the little infant to go in and take
possession.
"Ah, my darling!" said Ruth, falling back weak and weary. "If God
will but spare you to me, never mother did more than I will. I have
done you a grievous wrong--but, if I may but live, I will spend my
life in serving you!"
"And in serving God!" said Miss Benson, with tears in her eyes. "You
must not make him into an idol, or God will, perhaps, punish you
through him."
A pang of affright shot through Ruth's heart at these words; had
she already sinned and made her child into an idol, and was there
punishment already in store for her through him? But then the
internal voice whispered that God was "Our Father," and that He knew
our frame, and knew how natural was the first outburst of a mother's
love; so, although she treasured up the warning, she ceased to
affright herself for what had already gushed forth.
"Now go to sleep, Ruth," said Miss Benson, kissing her, and darkening
the room. But Ruth could not sleep; if her heavy eyes closed, she
opened them again with a start, for sleep seemed to be an enemy
stealing from her the consciousness of being a mother. That one
thought excluded all remembrance and all anticipation, in those first
hours of delight.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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