Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Mothers and sons -- Fiction; Religious fiction; Unmarried mothers -- Fiction
It seemed to her that his death would only be the fitting punishment
for the state of indifference towards him--towards life and
death--towards all things earthly or divine, into which she had
suffered herself to fall since her last interview with Mr Donne.
She did not understand that such exhaustion is but the natural
consequence of violent agitation and severe tension of feeling. The
only relief she experienced was in constantly serving Leonard; she
had almost an animal's jealousy lest any one should come between her
and her young. Mr Benson saw this jealous suspicion, although he
could hardly understand it; but he calmed his sister's wonder and
officious kindness, so that the two patiently and quietly provided
all that Ruth might want, but did not interfere with her right to
nurse Leonard. But when he was recovering, Mr Benson, with the slight
tone of authority he knew how to assume when need was, bade Ruth
lie down and take some rest, while his sister watched. Ruth did not
answer, but obeyed in a dull, weary kind of surprise at being so
commanded. She lay down by her child, gazing her fill at his calm
slumber; and as she gazed, her large white eyelids were softly
pressed down as with a gentle irresistible weight, and she fell
asleep.
She dreamed that she was once more on the lonely shore, striving to
carry Leonard away from some pursuer--some human pursuer--she knew he
was human, and she knew who he was, although she dared not say his
name even to herself, he seemed so close and present, gaining on her
flying footsteps, rushing after her as with the sound of the roaring
tide. Her feet seemed heavy weights fixed to the ground; they would
not move. All at once, just near the shore, a great black whirlwind
of waves clutched her back to her pursuer; she threw Leonard on to
land, which was safety; but whether he reached it or no, or was swept
back like her into a mysterious something too dreadful to be borne,
she did not know, for the terror awakened her. At first the dream
seemed yet a reality, and she thought that the pursuer was couched
even there, in that very room, and the great boom of the sea was
still in her ears. But as full consciousness returned, she saw
herself safe in the dear old room--the haven of rest--the shelter
from storms. A bright fire was glowing in the little old-fashioned,
cup-shaped grate, niched into a corner of the wall, and guarded on
either side by whitewashed bricks, which rested on hobs. On one of
these the kettle hummed and buzzed, within two points of boiling
whenever she or Leonard required tea. In her dream that home-like
sound had been the roaring of the relentless sea, creeping swiftly on
to seize its prey. Miss Benson sat by the fire, motionless and still;
it was too dark to read any longer without a candle; but yet on the
ceiling and upper part of the walls the golden light of the setting
sun was slowly moving--so slow, and yet a motion gives the feeling of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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