Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Mothers and sons -- Fiction; Religious fiction; Unmarried mothers -- Fiction
Ruth closed her eyes, that they might not express the agony she felt,
like a sharp knife, at this question. Leonard had asked it with a
child's desire of avoiding painful and mysterious topics,--from no
personal sense of shame as she understood it, shame beginning thus
early, thus instantaneously.
"No," she replied. "You may be sure they will not."
So he went. But now she would have been thankful for the
unconsciousness of fainting; that one little speech bore so much
meaning to her hot, irritable brain. Mr and Miss Benson, all in their
house, would never speak to the boy--but in his home alone would he
be safe from what he had already learnt to dread. Every form in which
shame and opprobrium could overwhelm her darling, haunted her. She
had been exercising strong self-control for his sake ever since she
had met him at the house-door; there was now a reaction. His presence
had kept her mind on its perfect balance. When that was withdrawn,
the effect of the strain of power was felt. And athwart the
fever-mists that arose to obscure her judgment, all sorts of
will-o'-the-wisp plans flittered before her; tempting her to this and
that course of action--to anything rather than patient endurance--to
relieve her present state of misery by some sudden spasmodic effort,
that took the semblance of being wise and right. Gradually all
her desires, all her longing, settled themselves on one point.
What had she done--what could she do, to Leonard, but evil? If she
were away, and gone no one knew where--lost in mystery, as if she
were dead--perhaps the cruel hearts might relent, and show pity
on Leonard; while her perpetual presence would but call up the
remembrance of his birth. Thus she reasoned in her hot, dull brain;
and shaped her plans in accordance.
Leonard stole downstairs noiselessly. He listened to find some
quiet place where he could hide himself. The house was very still.
Miss Benson thought the purposed expedition had taken place, and
never dreamed but that Ruth and Leonard were on distant, sunny
Scaurside-hill; and after a very early dinner, she had set out to
drink tea with a farmer's wife who lived in the country two or three
miles off. Mr Benson meant to have gone with her; but while they were
at dinner, he had received an unusually authoritative note from Mr
Bradshaw desiring to speak with him, so he went to that gentleman's
house instead. Sally was busy in her kitchen, making a great noise
(not unlike a groom rubbing down a horse) over her cleaning.
Leonard stole into the sitting-room, and crouched behind the large
old-fashioned sofa to ease his sore, aching heart, by crying with all
the prodigal waste and abandonment of childhood.
Mr Benson was shown into Mr Bradshaw's own particular room. The
latter gentleman was walking up and down, and it was easy to perceive
that something had occurred to chafe him to great anger.
"Sit down, sir!" said he to Mr Benson, nodding to a chair.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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