“You’re a little thinner all over. I can’t see you well; but you
felt that way,” he said a little sadly, referring to his embrace
which she had broken. “You’ve been overdoing, of course.”
She made no reply; and for several seconds he offered nothing more
but went on, gazing down at her. “You’ve been fine, Cynthia, in
getting those people out.” He spoke of what he had heard of her work
in the retreat. “I knew ten days ago you were in it; but I couldn’t
go to you! I tried to; I tried to get into the fight. We all
tried--our men; but they didn’t want us. Except Gerry Hull, of
course, and a few like him.”
He said this so completely without bitterness--with envy, only--that
Ruth felt more warmly for him. “It’s Gerry Hull, isn’t it, Cynthia?”
he demanded directly.
“Yes,” she admitted now. Denial had become wholly impossible;
moreover, by telling the truth--or that much of the truth which had
to do with Gerry Hull--she might send George Byrne away. It was a
cruel wrong to him, and to the girl who was dead; but the wrong
already was done. Ruth merely was beginning herself to reap some of
the fruits of her deception.
“You love him?” Byrne inquired of her inevasively.
“Yes.”
“He loves you?”
“I don’t know.”
“What’s he said to you?”
“Nothing--about loving me.”
“But he loves you, all right; he must, if he knows you!” Byrne
returned in pitiful loyalty to his Cynthia. “How much has gone on
between you?” he demanded.
Ruth related to him much about her meetings with Gerry, while they
walked side by side about the Paris streets. A dozen times she was
on the point of breaking down and telling him all the truth; when
his hand reached toward hers, instinctively, and suddenly pulled
away; when they passed a light and, venturing to gaze up, she saw
his face as he looked down at her; when he asked her questions or
offered short, hoarse interjections, she almost cried out to him
that she was a fraud; the girl he had loved, and who she was saying
had turned from him, was dead and had been dead all that time during
which he had felt the difference; she had never met Gerry Hull at
all.
“What are you stopping for?” he asked her at one of these times.
“Thinking about the Sangamon River?”
That was the Illinois river which flowed close by Cynthia Gail’s
home. And Ruth knew from his voice that by the river Cynthia and he
first had known love.
“Yes,” Ruth said; but now her courage completely failed her.
“What did you say to me, then; oh, what did we both say, Cynthia?”
This was no test or challenge of Ruth; it was simply a cry from his
heart.
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways,
I love thee to the depth and height....
He was starting to quote something which they used to repeat
together.
“Go on, Cynthia!” he charged.
“I can’t,” Ruth cried.
“You can’t--after you found it and taught it to me? ‘_I love thee
with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life_,’” he quoted
bitterly to her. “Let me look at you better, Cynthia!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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