Gothic fiction; Guardian and ward -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
His tone was kind--but--what more did I want? I did not dare to look up;
I felt Dr. Hugh's eyes on my face, and murmuring some broken commonplace
about being happy to be back again, hurried up the steps and into the
house, Kitty following with my shawls and packages. At the head of the
stairs, I stopped till she overtook me, and telling her hastily that I
was going immediately to Mrs. Roberts, and she must give me the package
that contained the dress, and be ready to go in, and make her apology as
soon as I came out, I left her, and crossed over to the door of Mrs.
Roberts' room.
It was a mean and cowardly thing to hope, no doubt, but I did,
notwithstanding, most ardently desire that it might so happen that the
housekeeper was not in her room, and that I might have a brief respite
before the dreadful penance was undertaken, and in that hope I gave an
undemonstrative knock, to which Mrs. Roberts' voice responded promptly,
"Come in." Coming in was an easy part of it; walking up to her and
saying, "How are you?" was easy too; and remarking, "I am better, thank
you," was the easiest of all. But after that! Standing blankly before
that rigid black bombazine figure, whose bluish lips were obstinately
compressed, and whose unsympathetic eyes were regarding me inquiringly,
it was anything but easy to say what I had come to say--it was anything
but pleasant to remember I was to be humble. But there was no help for
it. I gulped down my pride and aversion, and simply and honestly told my
story, making every allowance truth would permit me for Kitty, putting
all the blame that was possible on myself, making no cowardly excuses,
and no submissive apologies, but telling a very straightforward and
honest story, in a very downright and unequivocal manner, and winding up
with a request that she would consider that I regretted my share in the
business, and was desirous of making her every amend for the annoyance
and inconvenience I had occasioned her. No other course could have been
as well calculated to mollify Mrs. Roberts; any undue humility would
have aroused her suspicions--the least attempt to conciliate her would
have settled her in her aversion--the smallest parade of penitence she
would have stigmatized as hypocrisy; but as it was, she was met on her
own ground, and could do nothing but yield, in an ungracious manner, an
ungracious acknowledgment of my honesty and sincerity, and a promise to
consider the offence atoned for. I put the package down on the table,
telling her what it contained, and again recommending Kitty to her
mercy, turned and left the room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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