Gothic fiction; Guardian and ward -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Orphans -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
But no sob or cry came from my lips; no tears dimmed my riveted eyes. I
heard the broken words that burst from him as in a dream, and neither
knew nor felt that there was anything in this world but blank
horror--hopeless consternation--till from a slight movement of the
candle, I caught the shine of a trinket that the unhappy man had worn
around his neck. Bending forward, I saw in a moment what it was. A
little ring of mine, and a link of the broken bracelet, worn on a chain
next his heart while living, now wet with blood, was lying still above
the heart that beat no more. At that sight a passion of tears came to my
relief. His tender and devoted love, the miserable return I had made,
the unkindness of our parting, my shameful injustice and deceit, the
cruelty of his sufferings, all rushed over me and shook me with a
tempest of tears and sobs. I threw myself beside him on the bed, and
covered his cold hand with tears and caresses; wild with pain and
remorse, I laid my cheek against his on the pillow, and implored him to
forgive me, to speak to me but once, to say I had not killed him; with
incoherent passion I called heaven to witness that I really loved
him--that I would have been true to him--that I would have died for
him--that I had nothing else to live for or to love.
It was long before, worn out by excess of weeping, I yielded to my
companion, and was led faint and almost unresisting from the room. With
a few words of pity, he left me in my own apartment, reluctantly turning
away from me, so wretched and so lonely. But I shook my head; I did not
want any one, I had rather be by myself.
"No one can do you much good, it is true," he said sadly. "God help
you!" and he left me.
I stood motionless for some minutes after the door closed upon him.
Then, stung by some fresh recollection and by the added terrors of
solitude, I paced rapidly up and down the room, and flinging myself on
my knees by the bedside, I prayed incoherently and passionately for
Victor--for myself--for pardon and for death. I could not endure one
thought or one occupation long: before I rose from my knees my
resolution was taken; my brain would have given way if I had not had
some necessity for exertion, some design to carry out. And strange and
sudden as my determination was, I doubt whether I could have done
anything wiser and better. There was one uncontrollable longing
uppermost--to escape from this place, to hide myself forever from all
who had ever known me here.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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