“Mine,” said Noel, walking straight past them with her head up.
In every fibre of her being she could feel the hurt, startled, utterly
bewildered looks of those firm friendly persons left there on the
pavement behind her; could feel the way they would gather themselves
together, and walk on, perhaps without a word, and then round the corner
begin: “What has come to Noel? What did she mean?” And taking the
little gold hoop out of her pocket, she flung it with all her might into
the Square Garden. The action saved her from a breakdown; and she went
in calmly. Lunch was long over, but her father had not gone out, for he
met her in the hall and drew her into the dining-room.
“You must eat, my child,” he said. And while she was swallowing down
what he had caused to be kept back for her, he stood by the hearth in
that favourite attitude of his, one foot on the fender, and one hand
gripping the mantel-shelf.
“You've got your wish, Daddy,” she said dully: “Everybody knows
now. I've told Mr. Lauder, and Monsieur, and the Dinnafords.”
She saw his fingers uncrisp, then grip the shelf again. “I'm
glad,” he said.
“Aunt Thirza gave me a ring to wear, but I've thrown it away.”
“My dearest child,” he began, but could not go on, for the quivering
of his lips.
“I wanted to say once more, Daddy, that I'm fearfully sorry about
you. And I am ashamed of myself; I thought I wasn't, but I am—only,
I think it was cruel, and I'm not penitent to God; and it's no good
trying to make me.”
Pierson turned and looked at her. For a long time after, she could not
get that look out of her memory.
Jimmy Fort had turned away from Noel feeling particularly wretched. Ever
since the day when Leila had told him of the girl's misfortune he had
been aware that his liaison had no decent foundation, save a sort of
pity. One day, in a queer access of compunction, he had made Leila an
offer of marriage. She had refused; and he had respected her the more,
realising by the quiver in her voice and the look in her eyes that she
refused him, not because she did not love him well enough, but because
she was afraid of losing any of his affection. She was a woman of great
experience.
To-day he had taken advantage of the luncheon interval to bring her some
flowers, with a note to say that he could not come that evening. Letting
himself in with his latchkey, he had carefully put those Japanese
azaleas in the bowl “Famille Rose,” taking water from her bedroom.
Then he had sat down on the divan with his head in his hands.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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