wandered thus, before going in, and only lost that exalted feeling when,
in her own little room, she had taken up his photograph, and was sitting
on her bed gazing at it. She had a bad breakdown then. Locked in there,
she lay on her bed, crying, dreadfully lonely, till she fell asleep
exhausted, with the tear-stained photograph clutched in her twitching
fingers. She woke with a start. It was dark, and someone was knocking on
her door.
“Miss Noel!”
Childish perversity kept her silent. Why couldn't they leave her
alone? They would leave her alone if they knew. Then she heard another
kind of knocking, and her father's voice:
“Nollie! Nollie!”
She scrambled up, and opened. He looked scared, and her heart smote her.
“It's all right, Daddy; I was asleep.”
“My dear, I'm sorry, but dinner's ready.”
“I don't want any dinner; I think I'll go to bed.”
The frown between his brows deepened.
“You shouldn't lock your door, Nollie: I was quite frightened. I
went round to the hospital to bring you home, and they told me about
your fainting. I want you to see a doctor.”
Noel shook her head vigorously. “Oh, no! It's nothing!”
“Nothing? To faint like that? Come, my child. To please me.” He took
her face in his hands. Noel shrank away.
“No, Daddy. I won't see a doctor. Extravagance in wartime! I
won't. It's no good trying to make me. I'll come down if you like;
I shall be all right to-morrow.”
With this Pierson had to be content; but, often that evening, she saw
him looking at her anxiously. And when she went up, he came out of his
study, followed to her room, and insisted on lighting her fire. Kissing
her at the door, he said very quietly:
“I wish I could be a mother to you, my child!”
For a moment it flashed through Noel: 'He knows!' then, by the
puzzled look on his face, she knew that he did not. If only he did know;
what a weight it would be off her mind! But she answered quietly too;
“Good night, Daddy dear!” kissed him, and shut the door.
She sat down before the little new fire, and spread her hands out to it;
all was so cold and wintry in her heart. And the firelight flickered on
her face, where shadows lay thick under her eyes, for all the roundness
of her cheeks, and on her slim pale hands, and the supple grace of her
young body. And out in the night, clouds raced over the moon, which had
come full once more.
VI
1
Pierson went back to his study, and wrote to Gratian.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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