“A thousand thanks, monsieur; but I go north. I loved your words about
the pack. I often wake at night and hear the howling of all the packs
of the world. Those who are by nature gentle nowadays feel they are
strangers in a far land. Good night, monsieur!”
He took off his queer hat, bowed low, and crossed out into the Strand,
like one who had come in a dream, and faded out with the waking. Fort
hailed a cab, and went home, still seeing Noel's face. There was
one, if you liked, waiting to be thrown to the wolves, waiting for the
world's pack to begin howling round her—that lovely child; and the
first, the loudest of all the pack, perhaps, must be her own father, the
lean, dark figure with the gentle face, and the burnt bright eyes. What
a ghastly business! His dreams that night were not such as Leila would
have approved.
IX
When in the cupboard there is a real and very bony skeleton, carefully
kept from the sight of a single member of the family, the position of
that member is liable to become lonely. But Pierson, who had been lonely
fifteen years, did not feel it so much, perhaps, as most men would have.
In his dreamy nature there was a curious self-sufficiency, which only
violent shocks disturbed, and he went on with his routine of duty, which
had become for him as set as the pavements he trod on his way to and
from it. It was not exactly true, as the painter had said, that this
routine did not bring him into touch with life. After all he saw people
when they were born, when they married, when they died. He helped them
when they wanted money, and when they were ill; he told their children
Bible stories on Sunday afternoons; he served those who were in need
with soup and bread from his soup kitchen. He never spared himself in
any way, and his ears were always at the service of their woes. And yet
he did not understand them, and they knew that. It was as though he, or
they, were colour-blind. The values were all different. He was seeing
one set of objects, they another.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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