The poor minister did not say anything--his heart was bitter within him.
He paced up and down the vestry with dreadful thoughts. What was She to
him if she had a hundred brothers? Nothing in the world could raise the
young Nonconformist to that sweet height which she made beautiful; and
far beyond that difference came the cruel recollection of those smiles
and tears--pathetic, involuntary confessions. If there was another man
in the world whom she could trust "with life--to death!" what did it
matter though a thousand frightful combinations involved poor Vincent
with her kindred? He tried to remind himself of all this, but did not
succeed. In the mean time, the fact glared upon him that it was her
brother who had aimed this deadly blow at the honour and peace of his
own humble house; and his heart grew sad with the thought that, however
indifferent she might be to him, however unattainable, here was a
distinct obstacle which must cut off all that bewildering tantalising
intercourse which at present was still possible, notwithstanding every
other hindrance. He thought of this, and not of Susan, as the floor of
the little vestry thrilled under his feet. He was bitter, aggrieved,
indignant. His troubled mother, who sat by there, half afraid to cry,
watching him with frightened, anxious, uncomprehending eyes, had done
him a sharp and personal injury. _She_ could not fancy how it was, nor
what she could have done. She followed him with mild tearful glances,
waiting with a woman's compelled patience till he should come to
himself, and revolving thoughts of Salem, and supply for the pulpit
there, with an anxious pertinacity. But in her way Mrs. Vincent was a
wise woman. She did not speak--she let him wear himself out first in
that sudden apprehension of the misfortune personal to himself, which
was at the moment so much more poignant and bitter than any other dread.
When he had subsided a little--and first of all he threw up the window,
leaning out, to his mother's great vexation, with a total disregard of
the draught, and receiving the chill of the January breeze upon his
heated brow--she ventured to say, gently, "Arthur, what are we to do?"
"To go to Lonsdale," said Vincent. "When we came in here, I thought we
could rush off directly; but these women outside there, and this place,
remind me that I am not a free man, who can go at once and do his duty.
I am in fetters to Salem, mother. Heaven knows when I may be able to get
away. Sunday must be provided for first. No natural immediate action is
possible to me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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