Vincent had shaken hands with his friend at the door, and hurried past,
saying something about losing the train, in order to escape
conversation; but, with the vivid perceptions of excitement, he heard
the delivery of Phoebe's message, and saw the complacence with which
the Homerton man regarded the invitation which had anticipated his
arrival. The young Nonconformist had enough to think of as he took his
way once more to the railway, and tea at Mrs. Tozer's was anything but
attractive to his own fancy; yet in the midst of his wretchedness he
could not overcome the personal sense of annoyance which this trifling
incident produced. It came like a prick of irritating pain, to aggravate
the dull horror which throbbed through him. He despised himself for
being able to think of it at all, but at the same time it came back to
him, darting unawares again and again into his thoughts. Little as he
cared for the entertainments and attention of his flock, he was
conscious of a certain exasperation in discovering their eagerness to
entertain another. He was disgusted with Phoebe for bringing the
message, and disgusted with Beecher for looking pleased to receive it.
"Probably he thinks he will supersede me," Vincent thought, in sudden
gusts of disdain now and then, with a sardonic smile on his lip, waking
up afterwards with a thrill of deeper self-disgust, to think that
anything so insignificant had power to move him. When he plunged off
from Carlingford at last, in the early falling darkness of the winter
afternoon, and looked back upon the few lights struggling red through
the evening mists, it was with a sense of belonging to the place where
he had left an interloper who might take his post over his head, which,
perhaps, no other possible stimulant could have given him. He thought
with a certain pang of Salem, and that pulpit which was his own, but in
which another man should stand to-morrow, with a quickened thrill of
something that was almost jealousy; he wondered what might be the
sentiments of the connection about his deputy--perhaps Brown and Pigeon
would prefer that florid voice to his own--perhaps Phoebe might find
the substitute more practicable than the incumbent. Nothing before had
ever made Salem so interesting to the young pastor as Beecher's
complacence over that invitation to tea.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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