SUNDAY! It came again, the inevitable morning. There are pathetic
stories current in the world about most of the other professions that
claim the ear of the public; how lawyers prepare great speeches, which
are to open for them the gates of the future, in the midst of the
killing anxieties of life and poverty--how mimes and players of all
descriptions keep the world in laughter while their hearts are breaking.
But few people think of the sufferings of the priest, whom, let trouble
or anxiety come as they please, necessity will have in the inexorable
pulpit Sunday after Sunday. So Vincent thought as he put on his Geneva
gown in his little vestry, with the raw February air coming in at the
open window, and his sermon, which was dull, lying on the table beside
him. It was dull--he knew it in his heart; but after all the strain of
passion he had been held at, what was to preserve him any more than
another from the unavoidable lassitude and blank that followed? Still it
was not agreeable to know that Salem was crowded to the door, and that
this sermon, upon which the minister looked ruefully, was laboured and
feeble, without any divine spark to enlighten it, or power to touch the
hearts of other men. The consciousness that it was dull would, the
preacher knew, make it duller still--its heaviness would affect himself
as well as his audience. Still that was not to be helped now, there it
lay, ready for utterance; and here in his Geneva gown, with the sound in
his ears of all the stream of entering worshippers who were then
arranging themselves in the pews of Salem, stood the minister prepared
to speak. There was, as Vincent divined, a great crowd--so great a crowd
that various groups stood during the whole service, which, by dint of
being more laboured and feeble than usual, was longer too. With a
certain dulness of feeling, half despairing, the minister accomplished
the preliminary devotions, and was just opening his Bible to begin the
work of the day when his startled eye caught a most unlooked-for
accession to the flock. Immediately before him, in the same pew with
Mrs. Tozer and Phoebe, what was that beautiful vision that struck him
dumb for the moment? Tozer himself had brought her in during the
prayers, through the groups that occupied the passage, to his own seat,
where she sat expanding her rustling plumage, and looking round with all
her natural sweetness, and a kind of delightful unconscious patronage
and curiosity, upon the crowd of unknown people who were nobody in
Carlingford. The sight of her struck the young Nonconformist dumb. He
took some moments to recover himself, ere, with a pang in his heart, he
began his dull sermon. It mattered nothing to Lady Western what kind of
a sermon he preached. She was not clever, and probably would never know
the difference; but it went to the young man's heart, an additional pang
of humiliation, to think that it was not his best he had to set before
that unexpected hearer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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