Then the true suspicion flashed upon him: good God! _could it be_ the
dead Isy? Of course not! It was the merest illusion! a nonsensical
fancy, caused by the irregular mingling of the light and darkness! In
the daytime he could not have been so befooled by his imagination! He
had always known the clearness, both physical and mental, with which
he saw everything! Nevertheless, the folly had power to fix him staring
where he stood, with his face leant close to the face of the dead. It
was only like, it could not be the same! and yet he could not turn and
go from it! Why did he not, by the mere will in whose strength he took
pride, force his way out of the room? He stirred not a foot; he stared
and stood. And as he stared, the dead face seemed to come nearer him
through the darkness, growing more and more like the only girl he had
ever, though even then only in fancy, loved. If it was not she, how
could the dead look so like the living he had once known? At length
what doubt was left, changed suddenly to assurance that it must be she.
And—dare I say it?—it brought him a sense of relief! He breathed a
sigh of such false, rascally peace as he had not known since his sin,
and with that sigh he left the room. Passing his mother, who still wept
in the now deeper dusk of the parlour, with the observation that there
was no moon, and it would be quite dark before he reached the manse, he
bade her good-night, and went out.
When Peter, who unable to sit longer inactive had gone to the stable,
re-entered, foiled in the attempt to occupy himself, and sat down by his
wife, she began to talk about the funeral preparations, and the persons
to be invited. But such sorrow overtook him afresh, that even his wife,
herself inconsolable over her loss, was surprised at the depth of his
grief for one who was no relative. It seemed to him indelicate, almost
heartless of her to talk so soon of burying the dear one but just gone
from their sight: it was unnecessary dispatch, and suggested a lack of
reverence!
“What for sic a hurry?” he expostulated. “Isna there time eneuch to put
oot o’ yer sicht what ye ance lo’ed sae weel? Lat me be the nicht; the
morn ’ill be here sene eneuch! Lat my sowl rest a moment wi’ deith, and
haud awa wi yer funeral. ‘Sufficient til the day,’ ye ken!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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