Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
Hash Todhunter was not a swift-thinking man. Nor was he one of those
practised amateurs of the sex who can read volumes in a woman’s glance
and see in a flash exactly what she means when she scrapes arabesques on
a gravel path with the toe of her shoe. For some three hours and more,
therefore, he remained in a state of perfect content. And then suddenly,
while smoking a placid after-luncheon pipe, his mood changed and there
began to seep into the hinterlands of his mind the idea that in Claire’s
manner at their recent meeting there had been something decidedly
peculiar.
He brooded over this; and as the lunch which he had cooked and eaten
fought what was for the moment a winning battle with his organs of
digestion, there crept over him a sombre alarm. Slowly, but with a
persistence not to be denied, the jealousy of which sleep had cured him
began to return. He blew out a cloud of tobacco smoke and through it
stared bleakly at Chimp Twist, who was in a reverie on the other side of
the kitchen table.
It came to him, not for the first time, that he did not like Chimp’s
looks. Handsome not even his mother could have called Chimp Twist; and
yet there was about him a certain something calculated to inspire
uneasiness in an engaged man. He had that expression in his eyes which
home wreckers wear in the movies. A human snake, if ever there was one,
felt Hash, as his interior mechanism strove vainly to overcome that
which he had thrust upon it.
Nor did his recollection of Claire’s conversation bring any reassurance.
So brief it had been that he could remember everything she had said.
And it had all been about that black-hearted little object across the
table.
“How’s Mr. Twist this morning?” A significant question. “Not been
quarrelling with him, have you?” A fishy remark. And then he had said
that they had been having a chat, and she had asked, “About me?”
So moved was Hash by the recollection of this that he took the pipe out
of his mouth and addressed his companion with an abruptness that was
almost violent:
“Hey!”
Chimp looked up with a start. He had been pondering whether it might not
possibly come within the scope of an odd-job man’s duties to put a
ladder against the back of the house and climb up it and slap a coat of
paint on the window frame of the top back room. Then, when Hash was
cooking dinner----
“Hullo?” he said, blinking. He was surprised to see that the other, who
had been geniality itself during lunch, was regarding him with a cold
and suspicious hostility.
“Want to ask you something,” said Hash.
“Spill it,” said Chimp, and smiled nervously.
It was an unfortunate thing for him to have done, for he did not look
his best when smiling. It seemed to Hash that his smile was furtive and
cunning.
“Want to know,” said Hash, “if there are any larks on?”
“Eh?”
“You and my young lady next door--there’s nothing what you might call
between you, is there?”
“’Course not!” cried Chimp in agitation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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