Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
But it was something that Kay had said that had set the seal on the
thrills of this great day. Quite casually she had mentioned that Mrs.
Lippett proposed, as soon as her daughter Claire was married to Hash
Todhunter, to go and live with the young couple. It was as if somebody,
strolling with stout Balboa, had jerked his thumb at a sheet of water
shining through the trees and observed nonchalantly, “By the way,
there’s the Pacific.” It was this, even more than the other events of
the afternoon, that had induced in Mr. Braddock the strange, yeasty
feeling of unreality which was causing him now to stand gulping on the
gravel. For years he had felt that only a miracle could rid him of Mrs.
Lippett’s limpet-like devotion, and now that miracle had happened.
He removed his hat and allowed the cool night air to soothe his flaming
forehead. He regretted that he had pledged himself to dinner that night
at the house of his Aunt Julia. Aunt Julia was no bad sort, as aunts go,
but dinner at her house was scarcely likely to provide him with
melodrama, and it was melodrama that Mr. Braddock’s drugged soul now
craved, and nothing but melodrama. It irked him to be compelled to leave
this suburban maelstrom of swift events and return to a London which
could not but seem mild and tame by comparison.
However, he had so pledged himself, and the word of a Braddock was his
bond. Moreover, if he were late, Aunt Julia would be shirty to a degree.
Reluctantly he started to move toward the two-seater, and had nearly
reached it when he congealed again into a motionless statue. For, even
as he prepared to open the gate of San Rafael, he beheld slinking in at
the gate of Mon Repos a furtive figure.
In his present uplifted frame of mind a figure required to possess only
the minimum of furtiveness to excitement Willoughby Braddock’s
suspicions, and this one was well up in what might be called the Class A
of furtiveness. It wavered and it crept. It hesitated and it slunk. And
as the rays from the street lamp shone momentarily upon its face, Mr.
Braddock perceived that it was a drawn and anxious face, the face of one
who nerves himself to desperate deeds.
And, indeed, the other was feeling nervous. He walked warily, like some
not too courageous explorer picking his way through a jungle in which he
suspects the presence of unpleasant wild beasts. Drawn by the lure of
gain to revisit Mon Repos, Chimp Twist was wondering pallidly if each
moment might not not bring Hash ravening out at him from the shadows.
He passed round the angle of the house, and Willoughby Braddock,
reckless of whether or no this postponement of his return to London
would make him late for dinner at Aunt Julia’s and so cause him to be
properly ticked off by that punctuality-loving lady, flitted silently
after him and was in time to see him peer through the kitchen window. A
moment later, his peering seeming to have had a reassuring effect, he
had opened the back door and was inside the house.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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