Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
He broke off; and breaking off, bit his tongue, for that had occurred
which had startled him considerably. One unit in his audience, until
that moment apparently as quiet and well-behaved as the other units, had
suddenly, to all appearances, gone off his head. The young man Shotter,
uttering a piercing cry, had leaped to his feet and was exhibiting
strange emotion.
“What’s that?” cried Sam. “What did you say?”
Mr. Cornelius regarded him through a mist of tears. His tongue was
giving him considerable pain.
“Did you say,” demanded Sam, “that in Finglass’ time San Rafael was part
of Mon Repos?”
“Yeh,” said Mr. Cornelius, rubbing the wound tenderly against the roof
of his mouth.
“Give me a chisel!” bellowed Sam. “Where’s a chisel? I want a chisel!”
§ 2
“Bleck my soul!” said Mr. Cornelius. He spoke a little thickly, for his
tongue was still painful. But its anguish was forgotten under the spell
of a stronger emotion. Five minutes had passed since Sam’s remarkable
outburst in the drawing-room; and now, with Mr. Wrenn and Kay, he was
standing in the top back bedroom of San Rafael, watching the young man
as he drew up from the chasm in which he had been groping a very
yellowed, very dusty package which crackled and crumbled in his fingers.
“Bleck my soul!” said Mr. Cornelius.
“Good heavens!” said Mr. Wrenn.
“Sam!” cried Kay.
Sam did not hear their voices. With the look of a mother bending over
her sleeping babe, he was staring at the parcel.
“Two million!” said Sam, choking. “Two million--count ’em--two million!”
A light of pure avarice shone in his eyes. He looked like a man who had
never heard of the unhappy fate of Dwight Blenkiron, of Chicago,
Illinois, and Genevieve, his bride, _née_ Poskitt; or who, having heard,
did not give a whoop.
“What’s ten per cent on two million?” asked Sam.
§ 3
Valley Fields lay asleep. Clocks had been wound, cats put out of back
doors, front doors bolted and chained. In a thousand homes a thousand
good householders were restoring their tissues against the labours of
another day. The silver-voiced clock on the big tower over the college
struck the hour of two.
But though most of its inhabitants were prudently getting their eight
hours and insuring that schoolgirl complexion, footsteps still made
themselves heard in the silence of Burberry Road. They were those of Sam
Shotter of Mon Repos, pacing up and down outside the gate of San Rafael.
Long since had Mr. Wrenn, who slept in the front of that house, begun to
wish Sam Shotter in bed or dead; but he was a mild and kindly man, loth
to shout winged words out of windows. So Sam paced, unrebuked, until
presently other footsteps joined in chorus with his and he perceived
that he was no longer alone.
A lantern shone upon him.
“Out late, sir,” said the sleepless guardian of the peace behind him.
“Late?” said Sam. Trifles like time meant nothing to him. “Is it late?”
“Just gone two, sir.”
“Oh? Then perhaps I had better be going to bed.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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