Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
Technically, when the front doorbell of San Rafael rang, it was Claire
Lippett’s duty to answer it; but Claire was upstairs making beds. Kay
stalked across the hall, and having turned the handle, found confronting
her a young woman of spectacular appearance, clad in gorgeous raiment
and surmounted by a bird-of-paradise-feathered hat so much too good for
her that Kay’s immediate reaction of beholding it was one of simple and
ignoble jealousy. It was the sort of hat she would have liked to be able
to afford herself, and its presence on the dyed hair of another cemented
the prejudice which that other’s face and eyes had aroused within her.
“Does a guy named Shotter live here?” asked the visitor. Then, with the
air of one remembering a part and with almost excessive refinement,
“Could I see Mr. Shotter, if you please?”
“Mr. Shotter lives next door,” said Kay frostily.
“Oh, thank yaw. Thank yaw so much.”
“Not at all,” said Kay.
She shut the door and went into the drawing-room. The feeling of being
in a world bounded north, east, south and west by Sam Shotter had
thoroughly poisoned her day.
She took pen, ink and paper and wrote viciously for a few moments.
“Claire,” she called.
“’Ullo!” replied a distant voice.
“I’m leaving a note on the hall table. Will you take it next door some
time?”
“Right-ho!” bellowed the obliging Miss Lippett.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
VISITORS AT MON REPOS
Sam was preparing to leave for the office when his visitor arrived. He
had, indeed, actually opened the front door.
“Mr. Shottah?”
“Yes,” said Sam. He was surprised to see Mrs. Molloy. He had not
expected visitors at so early a period of his tenancy. This, he
supposed, must be the suburban equivalent of the county calling on the
new-comer. Impressed by the hat, he assumed Dolly to be one of the old
aristocracy of Valley Fields. A certain challenging jauntiness in her
bearing forbade the suspicion that she was collecting funds for charity.
“Won’t you come in?”
“Thank yaw. Thank yaw so much. The house agent told me your name.”
“Cornelius?”
“Gink with a full set of white whiskers. Say, somebody ought to put that
baby wise about the wonderful invention of the safety razor.”
Sam agreed that this might be in the public interest, but he began to
revise his views about the old aristocracy.
“I’m afraid you’ll find the place in rather a mess,” he said
apologetically, leading the way to the drawing-room. “I’ve only just
moved in.”
The visitor replied that, on the contrary, she thought it cute.
“I seem to know this joint by heart,” she said. “I’ve heard so much
about it from old pop.”
“I don’t think I am acquainted with Mr. Popp.”
“My father, I mean. He used to live here when he was a tiny kiddy.”
“Really? I should have taken you for an American.”
“I am American, and don’t let anyone tell you different.”
“I won’t.”
“One hundred per cent, that’s me,” Sam nodded.
“‘Oh, say, can you see by the dawn’s early light?’” he said reverently.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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