Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
“‘What so proudly’--I never can remember any more.”
“No one,” Sam reminded her, “knows the words but the Argentines....”
“...And the Portuguese and the Greeks.” The lady beamed. “Say, don’t
tell me you’re American too!”
“My mother was.”
“Why, this is fine! Pop’ll be tickled to death.”
“Is your father coming here too?”
“Well, I should say so! You don’t think I pay calls on strange gentlemen
all by myself, do you?” said the lady archly. “But listen! If you’re
American, we’re sitting pretty, because it’s only us Americans that’s
got real sentiment in them. Ain’t it the truth?”
“I don’t quite understand. Why do you want me to have sentiment?”
“Pop’ll explain all that when he arrives. I’m surprised he hasn’t blown
in yet. I didn’t think I’d get here first.” She looked about her. “It
seems funny to think of pop as a little kiddy in this very room.”
“Your father was English then?”
“Born in England--born here--born in this very house. Just to think of
pop playing all them childish games in this very room!”
Sam began to wish that she would stop. Her conversation was beginning to
give the place a queer feeling. The room had begun to seem haunted by a
peculiar being of middle-aged face and juvenile costume. So much so that
when she suddenly exclaimed, “There’s pop!” he had a momentary
impression that a whiskered elder in Lord Fauntleroy clothes was about
to dance out from behind the sofa.
Then he saw that his visitor was looking out of the window and,
following her gaze, noted upon the front steps a gentleman of majestic
port.
“I’ll go and let him in,” he said.
“Do you live here all alone?” asked the lady, and Sam got the idea that
she spoke eagerly.
“Oh, no, I’ve a man. But he’s busy somewhere.”
“I see,” she said disappointedly.
The glimpse which Sam had caught of the new arrival through the window
had been a sketchy one. It was only as he opened the door that he got a
full view of him. And having done so, he was a little startled. It is
always disconcerting to see a familiar face where one had expected a
strange one. This was the man he had seen in the bar that day when he
had met Hash in Fleet Street.
“Mr. Shotter?”
“Yes.”
It seemed to Sam that the man had aged a good deal since he had seen him
last. The fact was that Mr. Molloy, in greying himself up at the
temples, had rather overdone the treatment. Still, though stricken in
years, he looked a genial, kindly, honest soul.
“My name is Gunn, Mr. Shotter--Thomas G. Gunn.”
It had been Mr. Molloy’s intention--for he was an artist and liked to do
a thing, as he said, properly--to adopt for this interview the pseudonym
of J. Felkin Haggenbakker, that seeming to his critical view the sort of
name a sentimental millionaire who had made a fortune in Pittsburgh and
was now revisiting the home of his boyhood ought to have. The proposal
had been vetoed by Dolly, who protested that she did not intend to spend
hours of her time in unnecessary study.
“Won’t you come in?” said Sam.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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