Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
It was the sort of morning which should have bred happiness and quiet
content, but Kay had waked in a mood of irritated hostility which fine
weather could not dispel. What had happened overnight had stung her to a
militant resentment, and sleep had not removed this.
Possibly this was because her sleep, like that of everyone else in the
neighbourhood, had been disturbed and intermittent. From midnight until
two in the morning the dog Amy had given a spirited imitation of ten
dogs being torn asunder by red-hot pincers. At two, Hash Todhunter had
risen reluctantly from his bed, and arming himself with the
number-eleven shoe mentioned in the previous chapter, had reasoned with
her. This had produced a brief respite, but by a quarter of three large
numbers of dogs were once more being massacred on the premises of Mon
Repos, that ill-named house.
At three, Sam went down; and being a young man who liked dogs and saw
their point of view, tried diplomacy. This took the shape of the remains
of a leg of mutton and it worked like a charm. Amy finished the leg of
mutton and fell into a surfeited slumber, and peace descended on
Burberry Road.
Kay paced the gravel path with hard feelings, which were not removed by
the appearance a few moments later of Sam, clad in flannels and a
sweater. Sam, his back to her and his face to the sun, began to fling
himself about in a forceful and hygienic manner; and Kay, interested in
spite of herself, came to the fence to watch him. She was angry with
him, for no girl likes to have her singing criticised by bangs upon the
wall; but nevertheless she could not entirely check a faint feeling of
approval as she watched him. A country-bred girl, Kay liked men to be
strong and of the open air; and Sam, whatever his moral defects, was a
fine physical specimen. He looked fit and hard and sinewy.
Presently, in the course of a complicated movement which involved
circular swinging from the waist, his eye fell upon her. He straightened
himself and came over to the fence, flushed and tousled and healthy.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Good morning,” said Kay coldly. “I want to apologise, Mr. Shotter. I’m
afraid my singing disturbed you last night.”
“Good Lord!” said Sam. “Was that you? I thought it was the dog.”
“I stopped directly you banged on the wall.”
“I didn’t bang on any wall. It must have been Hash.”
“Hash?”
“Hash Todhunter, the man who cooks for me--and, oh, yes, who chirrups at
you out of trees. I got your note and spoke to him about it. He
explained that he had mistaken you for your maid, Claire. It’s rather a
romantic story. He’s engaged to her.”
“Engaged!”
“That’s just what I said when he told me, and in just that tone of
voice. I was surprised. I gather, however, that Hash is what you would
call a quick worker. He tells me he has a way with him. According to his
story, he kissed her, and after that everything was nice and matey.”
Kay flushed faintly.
“Oh!” she said.
“Yes,” said Sam.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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