Samantha Among the Brethren, CompleteHolley, Marietta
General
Samantha Among the Brethren, Complete
Holley, Marietta
Methodism -- Humor; Women in church work -- Methodist church -- Humor; Women's rights -- Humor
Miss Charnick couldn't bear her. Miss Charnick wuz a woman who had
enjoyed considerble poor health in her life, and she had now, and had
been havin' for years, some dretful bad spells in her stomach--a sort of
a tightness acrost her chest. And Trueman's wife argued with her that
her spells had been worse, and her chest had been tighter. And the
old lady didn't like that at all, of course. And the old lady took
thoroughwert for 'em, and Trueman's wife insisted on't that thoroughwert
wuz tightenin'.
And then there wuz some chickens in a basket out on the stoop, that the
old hen had deserted, and Miss Charnick wuz a bringin' 'em up by hand.
And Mother Chainick went out to feed 'em, and Trueman's wife tosted her
head and said, “she didn't approve of it--she thought a chicken ought to
be brung up by a hen.”
But Miss Charnick said, “Why, the hen deserted 'em; they would have
perished right there in the nest.”
But Trueman's wife wouldn't gin in, she stuck right to it, “that it wuz
a hen's business, and nobody else's.”
And of course she had some sense on her side, for of course it is a
hen's business, her duty and her prevelege to bring up her chickens. But
if she won't do it, why, then, somebody else has got to--they ought to
be brung. I say Mother Charnick wuz in the right on't. But Trueman's
wife had got so in the habit of findin' fault, and naggin' at me, and
the other relations on Trueman's side and hern, that she couldn't seem
to stop it when she knew it wuz for her interest to stop.
And then she ketched a sight of the alpacker dress Jenette wuz a-makin'
and she said “that basks had gone out.”
And Miss Charnick was over partial to 'em (most too partial, some
thought), and thought they wuz in the height of the fashion. But
Trueman's wife ground her right down on it.
“Basks _wuz out_, fer she knew it, she had all her new ones made
polenay.”
And hearin' 'em argue back and forth for more'n a quarter of an hour,
Jenette put in and sez (she thinks all the world of Mother Charnick),
“Wall, I s'pose you won't take much good of your polenays, if you have
got so little time to wear 'em.”
And then Trueman's wife (she wuz meen-dispositioned, anyway) said
somethin' about “hired girls keepin' their place.”
And then Mother Charnick flared right up and took Jenette's part. And
Joe's face got red; he couldn't bear to see Jenette put upon, if she wuz
makin' fun of his religeon. And Trueman's wife see that she had gone too
fur, and held herself in, and talked good to Jenette, and flattered up
Joe, and he went home with her and staid till ten o'clock.
They spent a good deal of their time a-huntin' up passages, to prove
their doctrine, in the Bible, and the Apockraphy, and Josephus, and
others.
It beat all how many Trueman's wife would find, and every one she found
Joe would seem to think the more on her. And so it run along, till folks
said they wuz engaged, and Josiah and me thought so, too.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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