Samantha Among the Brethren, CompleteHolley, Marietta
General
Samantha Among the Brethren, Complete
Holley, Marietta
Methodism -- Humor; Women in church work -- Methodist church -- Humor; Women's rights -- Humor
And though Jenette wuzn't the one to say anything, she begun to look
kinder pale and mauger. And when I spoke of it to her, she laid it to
her liver. And I let her believe I thought so too. And I even went so
fur as to recommend tansey and camomile tea, with a little catnip mixed
in--I did it fur blinders. I knew it wuzn't her liver that ailed her. I
knew it wuz her heart. I knew it wuz her heart that wuz a-achin'.
Wall, we had our troubles, Josiah and me did. Trueman's wife wuz dretful
disagreeable, and would argue us down, every separate thing we tried to
do or say. And she seemed more high-headed and disagreeable than ever
sence Joe had begun to pay attention to her. Though what earthly good
his attention wuz a-goin' to do, wuz more than I could see, accordin' to
her belief.
But Josiah said, “he guessed Joe wouldn't have paid her any attention,
if he hadn't thought that the world wuz a-comin' to a end so soon. He
guessed he wouldn't want her round if it wuz a-goin' to stand.”
Sez I, “Josiah, you are a-judgin' Joe by yourself.” And he owned up that
he wuz.
Wall, the mornin' of the 30th, after Josiah and me had eat our
breakfast, I proceeded to mix up my bread. I had set the yeast
overnight, and I wuz a mouldin' it out into tins when Trueman's wife
come down-stairs with her robe over her arm. She wanted to iron it out
and press the seams.
I had baked one tin of my biscuit for breakfast, and I had kep 'em warm
for Trueman's wife, for she had been out late the night before to a
meetin' to Risley school-house, and didn't come down to breakfast. I
had also kep some good coffee warm for her, and some toast and steak.
She laid her robe down over a chair-back, and sot down to her breakfast,
but begun the first thing to find fault with me for bein' to work on
that day. She sez, “The idee, of the last day of the world, and you
a-bein' found makin' riz biscuit, yeast ones!” sez she.
“Wall,” sez I, “I don't know but I had jest as soon be found a-makin'
riz biscuit, a-takin' care of my own household, as the Lord hes
commanded me to, as to be found a-sailin' round in a book muslin Mother
Hubbard.”
“It hain't a Mother Hubbard!” sez she.
“Wall,” sez I, “I said it for oritory. But it is puckered up some like
them, and you know it.” Hers wuz made with a yoke.
And Josiah sot there a-fixin' his plantin' bag. He wuz a-goin' out that
mornin' to plant over some corn that the crows had pulled up. And she
bitterly reproved him. But he sez, “If the world don't come to a end,
the corn will be needed.”
“But it will,” she sez in a cold, haughty tone.
[Illustration: “WALL,” SEZ HE, “IF IT DOES, I MAY AS WELL BE DOIN'
THAT AS TO BE SETTIN' ROUND.”]
“Wall,” sez he, “if it does, I may as well be a-doin' that as to be
settin' round.” And he took his plantin' bag and went out. And then she
jawed me for upholdin' him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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