Samantha at the St. Louis ExpositionHolley, Marietta
General
Samantha at the St. Louis Exposition
Holley, Marietta
Louisiana Purchase Exposition (1904 : Saint Louis, Mo.) -- Fiction
But to resoom backward a little. Molly didn't want to go to the Fair
ground that morning, wantin' to rest and recooperate, so Josiah,
Blandina and I sot forth a little later than common. There wuz a
stoppage of the cars some ways from the gate and we got out and walked
thinkin' we'd git there quicker, Josiah started to step off first when
Blandina rushed past him, waved him back, and descended herself right
into the midst of horses heads and huffs and yells and profanity from
two drivers who wuz stoppin' the way and wuz revilin' each other, and
after we got safe onto the sidewalk and wuz walkin' along I sez to her:
"You ort to be more careful, Blandina, or you'll find yourself killed
some day and trompled on, I wuz skairt for you."
"Oh, I didn't think about myself, I wuz only thinkin' of savin' dear
uncle Josiah, it wuzn't so much matter about me. A woman's life you know
is not worth anything compared to a man's."
"Oh, shaw!" I sez, I wuz driv to it, and I sez it agin, "Oh, shaw!"
"Why, Aunt Samantha, you know it has been decided that that is so. It
has been settled by law that a female's life is worth only half as much
as a man's. Don't you remember last spring in Brooklyn it wuz settled
once for all that a female child's life wuzn't worth only half as much
as a male child?"
Sez I, "I remember a man's saying so, I don't remember it wuz proved; I
myself thought it wuz about as hefty a thing as a judge ever undertook
to try to set a value on two human lives with all their glorious and
terrible possibilities, and," sez I, eppisodin' a little but walkin'
along all the time, "how did that man know but the soul of a Florence
Nightingale would wake up in that girl and bless the world for all time?
And how did he know but the boy would prove a Benedict Arnold or a
Guiteau? An evil influence to curse the world forever. It wuz a hefty
job, and if Josiah had been judge I wouldn't let him undertook it, or if
he had I'd had him set an equal value on what God and nater and human
affection had made equal."
"Well, well," sez Josiah, "le'ss git along unless you want to stay here
and preach all day on the sidewalk."
"But," sez I, "I'm not preachin', Josiah, I'm eppisodin'."
"Well, there is a time for eppisodin' and a time for common sense, and
le'ss git along."
He acted real grumpy, I guess he'd thought more on me, if I had
pretended I thought his life wuz worth double mine. But I wouldn't say I
thought so not even for love's sake. And mebby he squirmed because I
said I would have him do thus and so. Men are so queer! you can't always
tell jest where the shue pinches, but you know by their actin' and
behavin' that it pinches somewhere.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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