"And then," sez he, a-brightenin' up, "I don't want to skair you. You'd most probable be skairt into a fit if it should break loose and start off independent into space. And it would take away all my enjoyment of such a pleasure excursion to see you a-layin' on the earth in a fit." Sez I, "It hain't vests or affection that holds you back, Josiah Allen--it's fear." "Fear!" sez he; "I don't know the meanin' of that word only from what I've read about it in the dictionary. Men don't know what it is to be afraid, and that is why," sez he, "that I've always been so anxious to have wimmen keep in her own spear, where men could watch over her, humble, domestic, grateful. "Nater plotted it so," sez he; "nater designs the male of creation to branch out, to venter, to labor, to dare, while the female stays to hum and tends to her children and the housework." Sez he, "In all the works of nater the females stay to hum, and the males soar out free. "It is a sweet and solemn truth," sez he, "and female wimmen ort to lay it to heart. In these latter days," sez he, "too many females are a-risin' up, and vainly a-tryin' to kick aginst this great law. But they can't knock it over," sez he--"the female foot hain't strong enough." He wuz a-goin' on in this remarkably eloquent way on his congenial theme, but I kinder drawed him in by remindin' him of Miss Sheldon's tent we see in the Transportation Buildin'--the one she used in her lonely journeyin' a-explorin' the Dark Continent. Sez I, "There is a woman that has kinder branched out." "Yes," sez he, "but men had to carry her." Sez he, "Samantha, the Lord designed it that females should stay to hum and tend to their babies, and wash the dishes. And when you go aginst that idee you are goin' aginst the everlastin' forces of nater. Nater has always had laws sot and immovable, and always will have 'em, and a passel of wimmen managers or lecturers hain't a-goin' to turn 'em round. "Nater made wimmen and sot 'em apart for domestic duties--some of which I have enumerated," sez he. "Whilst the males, from creation down, have been left free to skirmish round and git a livin' for themselves and the females secreted in the holy privacy of the hum life." Jest as he reached this climax we come in front of the Ostrich Farm, where thirty of the long-legged, humbly creeters are kept, and we hearn the keeper a-describin' the habits of the ostriches to some folks that stood round him. And Josiah, feelin' dretful good-natered and kinder patronizin' towards wimmen, and thinkin' that he wuz a-goin' to be strengthened in his talk by what the man wuz a-sayin', sez to me in a dretful, overbearin', patronizin' way, and some with the air as if he owned a few of the ostriches, and me, too, he kinder stood up straight and crooked his forefinger and bagoned to me.