And I sez, "If you lay out to git rid of seein' orniments, you had
better not stir out of your tracks."
And Nony Piddock said, "It sickened a man to see so much vain orniment."
And the Twin said, "It wuz perfectly beautiful to see it."
And the rest of the boarders bein' agreed jest about as well on't, we
set out for the Agricultural Hall in pretty good sperits.
Wall, truly did Nony say that the orniments wuz impressive and
overwhelmin'.
Now, I thought I had seen orniments, and I thought I had seen pillows.
Why, Father Allen had a porch held up by as many as five pillows--holler
ones--boarded round and painted to look like granite stun.
And our Meetin'-House steeple wuz, I had always spozed, ornimented.
Why, we had gin as high as fourteen dollars for the ornimental work on
that steeple, and the Jonesvillians, and the Loontowns, and the Zoarites
come from fur and near to look at it and admire it, the Jonesvillians in
pride and the others in envy, and a-hankerin' to have one like it.
[Illustration: The Jonesvillians, and the Loontowns, and the
Zoarites came from fur and near to admire it.]
But truly our pride in that steeple tottered and fell when we hove in
sight of that Agricultural Hall.
And when you look at the size of that buildin', and the grandeur of it,
you can see plain what sort of a place Agriculture holds in the minds of
the world, and how much store folks set on eatin'; and truly, how could
the world git along without it? It would run right down.
Why, imagine, if you can, eight hundred feet one way and five hundred
the other way, all orniments and pillows, pillows and orniments, and one
big towerin' dome in the centre, and lots of smaller ones, each one
topped off with the most beautiful figger, and groups of figgers, you
ever laid eyes on.
Where wuz Father Allen's pillow, and our steeple? Gone, crushed down
under twenty-six hundred feet of clear pillows and orniments.
On top of the great central dome stands the beautiful figger of Diana,
who had flown away from Madison Square, New York, and had settled down
here on purpose to delight the beholders of the United Globe with her
beauty and grace.
She wuz still a-holdin' her arrows in her hand, still a-turnin' her
beautiful face around so everybody could see it, still a-kickin' at the
wind with her pretty heel. But, as in the past, so now, let her kick
ever so hard, she couldn't turn the wind a mite when it got its mind
made up to blow from any particular pint of the compass.
And besides this figger on the dome, every little while on the four
corners of the buildin' wuz long, low groups of female wimmen a-holdin'
garlands, depicterin' the four seasons.
And the long line of pillows would be broken by noble piers, with a
beautiful group of figgers on every one on 'em, and some flags a-wavin'
out, as if to draw attention to the perfectness of the statutes.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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