"When I told him that most generally out behind the barn, and under the apple trees and gambrul ruff, wuz crouchin' the monster that had sapped the life out of the hum--the bloated, misshapen form of a mortgage at six per cent, and that old, insatiable monster had devoured and drinked down every cent of the earnin's that the hull family could bring to appease it with-- "It would open its snappin' old jaws and swaller 'em all down, and then set down refreshed but unappeased to wait for the next earnin's to be brung him. "Wall, now, if they could pay off that mortgage, and git rid of it, they could walk over its prostrate form into prosperity; they could afford to lighten up the bare poverty of a country farm, so repellin' to the young, with some touches of brightness. Books, music, good horses, carriages would preach louder lessons of content to the children than any they would hear from their pa's or ma's or ministers. "They would love their hums--would make them yield, instead of ruin and depressin' influences, a good income to themselves, and good tax-payin' property to help Uncle Sam-- "Decrease vice, increase virtue--lead away from prisons and almshousen, lead toward meetin'-housen, and the halls of justice, mebby. For in the highest places of trust and honor in the United States to-day is to be found the sons and daughters of country homes." Here, at jest this juncture, my umbrell fell out of my hand, and it brung my eyes down to earth agin; for some time, entirely onbeknown to me, I had been a-lookin' up into the encirclin' heavens, and a-soarin' round there in oratory. But as my eyes fell onto the Governor, I noticed the extreme weariness and mute agony on his liniment; he picked up my umbrell and handed it to me, and sez he, a-speakin' fast and agitated, as if in fear of sunthin' or ruther:-- "Your remarks are truly eloquent, and I believe every word on 'em; but," sez he, "I have an engagement of nearly life and death; I must leave you," and he sot off nearly on a run. And I spread my umbrell and walked off with composure and dignity to tackle the next buildin', which wuz Oregon. But my pardner jined me at that minit with his handkerchief held triumphantly in his hand. And at his earnest request we didn't examine clost any of the State buildin's--that is, we didn't go in and look 'em over; but, from the outside view, we had a high opinion on 'em. They wuz beautiful and extremely gorgeous, some on 'em. And they looked real good, too, and wuz comfortable inside, I hain't a doubt on't. I felt bad not to pay attention to every State jest as they come, and I know that they'll feel it if they ever hear on't. But, as Josiah said, there wuz so many to pay attention to 'em, that they wouldn't mind so much as if they wuz more alone and lonely.