Sandra Belloni (originally Emilia in England) — CompleteMeredith, George
General
Sandra Belloni (originally Emilia in England) — Complete
Meredith, George
English fiction -- 19th century
Georgiana Ford would have had little claim among the fair saints to be
accepted by them as one of their order. Her reputation for coldness was
derived from the fact of her having stood a siege from Captain Gambier.
But she loved a creature of earth too well to put up a hand for
saintly honours. The passion of her life centred in devotion to her
half-brother. Those who had studied her said, perhaps with a touch of
malignity, that her religious instinct had its source in a desire to
gain some place of intercession for him. Merthyr had leaned upon it too
often to doubt the strength of it, whatever its purity might be. She,
when barely more than a child (a girl of sixteen), had followed him over
the then luckless Italian fields--sacrificing as much for a cause
that she held to be trivial, as he in the ardour of his half-fanatical
worship. Her theory was: “These Italians are in bondage, and since
heaven permits it, there has been guilt. By endurance they are
strengthened, by suffering chastened; so let them endure and suffer.”
She would cleave to this view with many variations of pity. Merthyr's
experience was tolerant to the weaker vessel's young delight in
power, which makes her sometimes, though sweet and merciful by nature,
enunciate Hebraic severities oracularly. He smiled, and was never
weary of pointing out practical refutations. Whereat she said, “Will a
thousand instances change the principle?” When the brain, and especially
the fine brain of a woman, first begins to act for itself, the work is
of heavy labour; she finds herself plunging abroad on infinite seas, and
runs speedily into the anchorage of dogmas, obfuscatory saws, and what
she calls principles. Here she is safe; but if her thinking was
not originally the mere action of lively blood upon that battery of
intelligence, she will by-and-by reflect that it is not well for a live
thing to be tied to a dead, and that long clinging to safety confesses
too much. Merthyr waited for Georgians patiently. On all other points
they were heart-in-heart. It was her pride to say that she loved him
with no sense of jealousy, and prayed that he might find a woman, in
plain words, worthy of him. This woman had not been found; she confessed
that she had never seen her.
Georgians received Captain Gambier's communication in Monmouth. Merthyr
had now and then written of a Miss Belloni; but he had seemed to refer
to a sort of child, and Georgians had looked on her as another Italian
pensioner. She was decisive. The moment she awoke to feel herself
brooding over the thought of this girl, she started to join Merthyr.
Solitude is pasturage for a suspicion. On her way she grew persuaded
that her object was bad, and stopped; until the thought came, 'If he is
in a dilemma, who shall help him save his sister?' And, with spiritually
streaming eyes at a vision of companionship broken (but whether by his
taking another adviser, or by Miss Belloni, she did not ask), Georgiana
continued her journey.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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