Sandra Belloni (originally Emilia in England) — CompleteMeredith, George
General
Sandra Belloni (originally Emilia in England) — Complete
Meredith, George
English fiction -- 19th century
Little by little, and with a contest at each step, Georgiana coasted the
conviction that her undivided reign was over. Then she judged Emilia by
human nature's hardest standard: the measure of the qualities brought as
usurper and successor. Unconsciously she placed herself in the seat
of one who had fulfilled all the great things demanded of a woman
for Merthyr, and it seemed to her that Emilia exercised some fatal
fascination, girl though she was, to hurl her from that happy
sovereignty.
But Emilia's worst crime before the arraigning lady was that Wilfrid had
cast her off. Female justice, therefore, said: “You must be unworthy
of my brother;” and female delicacy thought: “You have been soiled by
a previous history.” She had pitied Wilfrid: now she held him partially
blameless: and while love was throbbing in many pulses all round her.
The man she had seen besieged by passionate love, touched her cold
imagination with a hue of fire, as Winter dawn lies on a frosty field.
She almost conceived what this other, not sisterly, love might be;
though not as its victim, by any means. She became, as she had never
before been, spiritually tormented and restless. The thought framed
itself that Charlotte and Wilfrid were not, by any law of selection, to
match. What mattered it? Simply that it in some way seemed to increase
the merits of one of the two. The task, moreover, of avoiding to tease
her brother was made easier to her by flying to this new refuge of
mysterious reflection. At times she poured back the whole flood of her
heart upon Merthyr, and then in alarm at the host of little passions
that grew cravingly alive in her, she turned her thoughts to Wilfrid
again; and so, till they turned wittingly to him. That this host of
little passions will invariably surround a false great one, she learnt
by degrees, by having to quell them and rise out of them. She knew that
now she occasionally forced her passion for Merthyr; but what nothing
could teach her was, that she did so to eject another's image. On the
contrary, her confession would have been: “Voluntarily I dwell upon that
other, that my love for Merthyr may avoid excess.” To such a state of
clearness much self-questioning brought her: but her blood was as yet
unwarmed; and that is a condition fostering self-deception as much as
when it rages.
Madame Marini wrote to ask whether Emilia might receive the visits of
a Sir Purcell Barrett, whom they had met, and whom Emilia called her
friend; adding: “The other gentleman has called at our old lodgings
three times. The last time our landlady says, he wept. Is it an
Englishman, really?”
Merthyr laughed at this, remarking: “Charlotte is not so vigilant, after
all.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account