Sandra Belloni (originally Emilia in England) — CompleteMeredith, George
General
Sandra Belloni (originally Emilia in England) — Complete
Meredith, George
English fiction -- 19th century
Sir Purcell informed Emilia of his accession to title; and in reply to
her “Are you not glad?” smiled and said that a mockery could scarcely
make him glad; indicating nevertheless how feeble the note of poverty
was in his grand scale of sorrow. He came to the house and met them in
the gardens frequently. With some perversity he would analyze to herself
Emilia's spirit of hope, partly perhaps for the sake of probing to what
sort of thing it might be in its nature and defences; and, as against an
accomplished disputant she made but a poor battle, he injured what was
precious to her without himself gaining any good whatever.
“Why, what do you look forward to?” she said wondering, at the end of
one of their arguments, as he courteously termed this play of logical
foils with a baby.
“Death,” answered the grave gentleman, striding on.
Emilia pitied him, thinking: “I might feel as he does, if I had not my
voice.” Seeing that calamity very remote, she added: “I should!”
She knew of his position toward Cornelia: that is, she knew as much
as he did: for the want of a woman's heart over which to simmer
his troubles was urgent within him and Emilia's, though it lacked
experience, was a woman's regarding love. And moreover, she did not
weep, but practically suggested his favourable chances, which it was a
sad satisfaction to him to prove baseless, and to knock utterly over.
The grief in which the soul of a human creature is persistently seeking
(since it cannot be thrown off) to clothe itself comfortably, finds in
tears an irritating expression of sympathy. Hints of a brighter future
are its nourishment. Such embryos are not tenacious of existence, and
when destroyed they are succulent food for a space to the moody grief I
am describing.
The melancholy gentleman did Emilia this good, that, never appearing to
imagine others to know misery save himself, he gave her full occupation
apart from the workings of her own mind. As to her case, he might
have offered the excuse that she really had nothing of the aspect of a
lovesick young lady, and was not a bit sea-green to view, or lamentable
in tone. He was sufficiently humane to have felt for anyone suffering,
and the proof of it is, that the only creature he saw under such an
influence he pitied so deplorably, as to make melancholy a habit with
him. He fretted her because he would do nothing, and this spectacle of
a lover beloved, but consenting to be mystified, consentingly
paralyzed:--of a lover beloved--!
“Does she love you?” said Emilia, beseechingly.
“If the truth is in her, she does,” he returned.
“She has told you she loves you?--that she loves no one else?”
“Of this I am certain.”
“Then, why are you downcast? my goodness! I would take her by the hand
'Woman; do you know yourself? you belong to me!'--I would say that; and
never let go her hand. That would decide everything. She must come
to you then, or you know what it is that means to separate you. My
goodness! I see it so plain!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account