Men -- Russia -- Fiction; Russia -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
Sina gave no further glances, but kept crossing herself with great
zeal. Yet Yourii knew that she was only thinking of him, and it was
this consciousness that established a secret bond between them. The
blood throbbed in his veins, and all seemed full of mystery and wonder.
The dark interior of the church, the chanting, the dim lights, the
sighs of worshippers, the echoing of feet of those who entered or went
out—of all this Yourii took careful note, as in such solemn silence he
could plainly hear the beating of his heart. He stood there,
motionless, his eyes fixed on Sina’s white neck and graceful figure,
feeling a joy that bordered on emotion. He wanted to show every one
that, although faith he had none in prayers, or chants, or lights, he
yet was not opposed to them. This led him to contrast his present happy
frame of mind with the distressful thoughts of the morning.
“So that one really can be happy, eh?” he asked himself, answering the
question at once. “Of course one can. All my thoughts regarding death
and the aimlessness of life are correct and logical, yet in spite of it
all, a man can sometimes be happy. If I am happy, it is all due to this
beautiful creature that only a short time ago I had never seen.”
Suddenly the droll thought came to him that, long ago, as little
children, perhaps they had met and parted, never dreaming that some day
they would fall violently in love with each other, and that she would
give herself to him in all her ripe, radiant nudity. It was this last
thought that brought a flush to his cheeks and for a while he felt
afraid to look at her. Meanwhile she who his wanton fancy had thus
unclothed stood there in front of him, pure and sweet, in her little
grey jacket and round hat, praying silently that his love for her might
be as tender and deep as her own. In some way her virginal modesty must
have influenced Yourii, for the lustful thoughts vanished, and tears of
emotion filled his eyes. Looking upwards, he saw the gleaming gold
above the altar, and the sacred cross round which the yellow tapers
shone, and with a fervour long since forgotten he mentally ejaculated:
“O God, if thou dost exist, let this maiden love me, and let my love
for her be always as great as at this moment.”
He felt slightly ashamed at his own emotion, and sought to dismiss it
with a smile.
“It’s all nonsense, after all,” he thought.
“Come,” said Sina in a whisper that sounded like a sigh.
Solemnly, as if in their souls they bore away with them all the
chanting, and the prayers, the sighs and mystic lights, they went out
across the court-yard, side by side, and passed through the little door
leading to the mountain-slope. Here there was no living soul. The high
white wall and time-worn turrets seemed to shut them out from the world
of men. At their feet lay the oak forest; far below shone the river
like a mirror of silver, while in the distance fields and meadows were
merged in the dim horizon-line.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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