Family -- Fiction; Italy -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Religion -- Fiction
Corona was fast coming to a state of mind in which a kind of passive
expectation--a sort of blind submission to fate--was the chief feature.
She had shed tears when her husband spoke of his approaching end, because
her gentle heart was grateful to him, and by its own sacrifices had grown
used to his presence, and because she suddenly felt that she had
comprehended the depth of his love for her, as she had never understood
it before. In the five years of married life she had spent with him, she
had not allowed herself to think of his selfishness, of his small daily
egotism; for, though it was at no great expense to himself, he had been
uniformly generous and considerate to her. But she had been conscious
that if she should ever remove from her conscience the pressure of a
self-imposed censorship, so that her judgment might speak boldly, the
verdict of her heart would not have been so indulgent to her husband as
was that formal opinion of him which she forced herself to hold. Now,
however, it seemed as though the best things she had desired to believe
of him were true; and with the conviction that he was not only not
selfish, but absolutely devoted to herself, there had come upon her a
fear of desolation, a dread of being left alone--of finding herself
abandoned by this strange companion, the only person in the world with
whom she had the habit of familiarity and the bond of a common past.
Astrardente had thought, and had told her too, that the knowledge of his
impending death might lighten her burden--might make the days of
self-sacrifice that yet remained seem shorter; he had spoken kindly of
her marrying again when he should be dead, deeming perhaps, in his sudden
burst of generosity that she would be capable of looking beyond the
unhappy present to the possibilities of a more brilliant future, or at
least that the certainty of his consent to such a second union would
momentarily please her. It was hard to say why he had spoken. It had been
an impulse such as the most selfish people sometimes yield to when their
failing strength brings upon them suddenly the sense of their inability
to resist any longer the course of events. The vanity of man is so
amazing that when he is past arrogating to himself the attention which is
necessary to him as his daily bread, he is capable of so demeaning his
manhood as to excite interest in his weaknesses rather than that he
should cease to be the object of any interest whatever. The analysis of
the feelings of old and selfish persons is the most difficult of all
studies; for in proportion as the strength of the dominant passion or
passions is quenched in the bitter still waters of the harbour of
superannuation, the small influences of life grow in importance. As when,
from the breaking surge of an angry ocean, the water is dashed high among
the re-echoing rocks, leaving little pools of limpid clearness in the
hollows of the storm-beaten cliffs; and as when the anger of the tossing
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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