After a short time they took us to the Calle de Pabostre, and as the
battle of the outside and inside of the buildings and of the public
way was now all combined, we entered the first block by the Calle de
los Viejos. From the windows of the house in which we found ourselves,
we could see nothing but smoke, and could tell but little of what
was going on there. I saw later that the street was all filled with
embrasures and trenches at certain distances made of heaps of earth,
furniture, and rubbish. From the windows a tremendous fire was poured
forth, and, remembering a phrase of the beggar Sursum Corda, I can say
that our souls were turned into bullets. Inside the houses the blood
flowed in torrents. The onset of the French was terrible, and that
the resistance might not be less terrible the belfries summoned men
unceasingly. The general dictated stern orders for the punishment of
stragglers. The friars rallied the people of other districts, dragging
them forward as in a leash. Some heroic women set an example, throwing
themselves into danger, guns in hand.
A dreadful day, whose frightful roar resounds ever in the ears of him
who was present! Its remembrance pursues him, an unescaped nightmare,
through his whole life. He who did not see these horrors, who did not
hear the noise of that shouting, knows not with what expression the
depths of the horrible may be uttered to human feeling. Do not tell
me that you have seen the crater of a volcano in the most violent
eruption; or a great tempest in the open ocean when the ship, tossed to
heaven on a mountain of waterfalls, descends next to a giddy depth,--do
not tell me you have seen these things, for they are nothing at all
like the volcanoes and tempests of man when his passions urge him to
out-rival the disorders in Nature.
It was difficult to hold us back, and not being able to do much where
we were, we descended to the street without noticing the officers
who tried to hold us back. The combat had an irresistible attraction
for us, and called us as the deep calls unto a man who looks down
upon it from a cliff. I have never considered myself heroic; but it
is certain that in those moments I did not fear death, nor did the
sight of catastrophes terrify me. It is true that heroism, as a thing
of the moment, and the direct child of inspiration, does not belong
exclusively to the brave. That is the reason it is often found in women
and cowards.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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