"To-day, after it all, Guedita and I dressed the wounds of my father.
He was stretched upon his bed, crazy, desperate. He was twisting about,
gnawing his fists and lamenting that he was not stronger than his
enemy. We tried to console him, but he told us to be silent. He struck
me in the face, he was so angry when he heard that I had thrown away
the money for the flour. He was furious with me. He told me that since
he could not get any more, the three thousand reales on account should
not be despised. He said that I am a spendthrift, and am ruining him.
We could not calm him in any way. Towards nightfall we heard another
noise in the street, and were afraid that the same ones who were here
in the middle of the day were returning. My father was raging, and
determined to get up. I was greatly frightened; but I took courage,
realizing that courage was necessary. Thinking of you, I said, 'If he
were in the house, no one would dare insult us.' As the noise in the
street increased, I plucked up all my courage. I shut and fastened the
doors and gates, and, begging my father to keep quiet in his bed, I
waited, resolved. While Guedita was on her knees, praying to all the
saints in heaven, I searched the house for a weapon. At last I found
a big knife. The sight of it has always frightened me, but to-day I
clutched it fearlessly. Oh, I was beside myself! Now the very thought
of it makes me frightened. I am usually unable to look upon a wounded
man, and tremble at the sight of a drop of blood. I almost cry if I
see any one beat a dog before me. I have never had the force to kill a
mosquito. But this evening, Augustine, this evening, when I heard the
noise in the street, when I thought those blows upon the gate had come
again, when I expected every moment to see those men before me, I swear
to you that if that had happened which I feared, if when I was in my
father's room, by his bedside, if that same man had come who abused
him a few hours before, I swear to you that there I myself would have
struck him through the heart."
"Hush, for God's sake!" cried Montoria, horrified. "You frighten me.
Hearing you, you almost make me feel as if your own hands, these
divine hands, struck cold steel through my breast. Nobody will maltreat
your father again. You see already that your alarm of to-night was
nothing but fright. No, you would not have been capable of what you
say. You are a woman, and a weak one, sensitive, timid, incapable of
killing a man, unless you kill him of love. The knife would have fallen
from your hands, and you would not have stained their purity with the
blood of a fellow being. These horrible things are only for us men,
born for conflict; sometimes we find ourselves in the sad strait of
wrenching the life from other men. Mariquilla, do not talk any more
nonsense. Do not think of those who offended you! Forgive them, and do
not kill any one, even in thought."
CHAPTER XVI
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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