Afterwards we removed our dead and wounded, and I had the sorrow of
finding Augustine Montoria among the latter, although the gun-wound in
his right arm was not of a serious nature. My battalion was reduced
one-half that day. The unfortunates who had sought refuge in the
upper room now wished to make themselves a little more comfortable in
the lower rooms; but this was not thought practicable, and they were
obliged to leave the place and look for an asylum further from danger.
Every day, every hour, every instant, the increasing difficulties
of our military situation were aggravated by the sight of the great
number of unburied victims of battle and of the epidemic. Happy a
thousand times those who were buried in the ruins of the undermined
houses, as happened to the valiant defenders of the Calle de Pomar,
close to the Santa Engracia! The most horrible thing was a great number
of the wounded piled up together, so that nobody could get at them
to help them. There was no medical aid for a hundredth part of them.
The charity of women, the zeal of patriotic citizens, the multiplied
activity of the hospitals, really availed nothing.
There came a time when a sort of impassibility, a dreadful apathy,
began to take possession of the besieged. We became used to the sight
of a heap of dead bodies, as if they were so many sacks of wool. We
were accustomed to see, without pity, great numbers of the wounded
creeping and tottering to the houses, each one caring for himself as
best he could. In the keenness of our sufferings, it seemed as if
the usual necessities of the flesh had gone, and that we lived only
in the spirit. Familiarity with danger had transformed our natures,
infusing them apparently with a new element,--absolute contempt of
the material, and indifference to life. Every one expected to die at
any moment, without the idea disturbing him in the least. I remember
hearing described the attack on the Trinitarios convent, made in the
hope of snatching it from the French, and the fabulous exploits, the
inconceivable rashness of that undertaking seemed to me natural and
ordinary.
I do not know whether I have said that next to the Convent de las
Monicas was that of San Augustine, an edifice of good size, with a
large church, spacious cloisters, and vast transepts. It was inevitable
that the French, now masters of Las Monicas, should show great
perseverance in the effort to gain possession of this monastery, in
order to establish themselves firmly and definitely in that quarter.
"Since we have not the luck to be in Las Monicas," said Pirli to me,
"we will, to-day, give ourselves the pleasure of defending until
death the four walls of Saint Augustine. As the Estremadurans are not
sufficient to defend it, we are ordered in, too. And how about rank,
friend Araceli? Is it true that we two young gentlemen have been
promoted to be sergeants?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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