Clergy -- Fiction; Love stories; Mistaken identity -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"They all knew me," he thought; "every one knew me, on the street, in
the hotel. They know me for what I have been to them. Yet to me it is
all a blank! What shameful deeds have I done?" He shrank from memory
now! "What was I doing so far away, where was I going, on the night when
I was picked up beside the railroad track? I may be a drunkard," he
said to himself. "No, in the past month I have drunk hard, but not for
the taste of the liquor! I may be a gambler--the first thing I remember
is that game of cards in the box-car! I may be a cheat, a thief. Yet how
is it possible for bad deeds to be blotted out and leave no trace?
Actions breed habit, if they do not spring from it, and habit,
automatically repeated, becomes character. I feel no inherent propensity
to rob, or defraud. Shall I? Will these things come back to me if my
memory does? Shall I become once more one with this vile old man, my
'side-partner,' to share the evil secrets that I see in his eyes--as I
must once have shared them?" He shuddered.
There welled over him again, full force, the passionate resentment, the
agony of protest, that had been the gift of the resuscitated character.
He found himself fighting a wild desire to fling his resolution behind
him and fly from his reputation and its penalties.
In the battle that he fought now he turned, even in his weakness, to
manual labor, striving to dull his thought with mechanical movement. He
cleaned and put to rights both rooms and sorted their litter of odds and
ends. But at times the inclination to escape became well-nigh
insupportable. When the conflict was fiercest he would think of a
girl's face, once seen, and the thought would restrain him. Who was she?
Why had her look pierced through him? In that hateful career that seemed
so curiously alien, could she have had a part?
He did not know that she of whom he wondered, in the bitterest of those
hours had been very near him--that on her way up the mountain she had
stolen down to the Knob to look through the parted bushes to the cabin
with the blue spiral rising from its chimney. He could not guess that
she gazed with a strained, agitated interest, a curiosity even more
intense than his own, the look of a heart that was strangely learning
itself with mingled and tremulous emotions.
Though the homely task to which he turned failed to allay his struggle,
by nightfall Harry had put the warring elements under. When Prendergast
returned at supper-time the candle was lighted in its wall-box, the
dinted tea-kettle was singing over a crackling fire, and Harry was
perspiring over the scouring of the last utensil.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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