Baines, Scattergood (Fictitious character) -- Fiction; New England -- Fiction
His reinforced chair creaked under the shifting of his great weight as
he bent mechanically to remove his shoes. With his toes imprisoned in
leather, Scattergood's brain refused to function, a characteristic
which greatly chagrined his wife, Mandy--so much so that she had
considered sewing him up in his footwear, as certain mothers in the
community sewed their children in their underwear for the winter.
Scattergood had amassed a fortune that might be called handsome, but it
had not made him effete. His income had never warranted him in
purchasing a pair of socks, so now, upon the removal of his shoepacs,
his toes were fully at liberty to squirm and wriggle in the most
soul-satisfying manner. He sat thus, battling with his problem, until
Pliny Pickett, driver of the stage, and Scattergood's man, rattled up to
the store in his dust-whitened conveyance.
"Afternoon, Scattergood," he said, in a manner which he endeavored to
make as like his employer's as possible.
"Afternoon, Pliny. Successful trip, Pliny? Plenty of passengers? Eh? Any
news down the valley?"
"Done middlin' well. Hain't much news, 'ceptin' that young Widder Conroy
down to Tupper Falls died of somethin' the matter with her stummick and
folks is wonderin' what'll become of her baby."
"Baby? What kind of a baby did she calc'late to have?"
"A he one--nigh onto two year old. Neighbors is lookin' after him."
"Got relatives?"
"Not that anybody knows of."
"Um!... Wasn't passin' Jed Lewis's house, was you?"
"Didn't figger to."
"Wasn't passin' Jed Lewis's, was you?" Scattergood repeated,
insistently.
"I could."
"Um!... If you was to, and if you seen Jed, what was you figgerin' on
sayin' to him?"
Pliny scratched his head and pondered.
"Calculate I'd mention the heat some, and maybe I might say suthin'
about national politics."
"Wouldn't mention me, would you, Pliny? Don't figger my name might come
up?"
"It might."
"If it did, what 'u'd you say, eh? Hain't no reason for mentionin' that
I might want to talk to him, is there? Hain't said so, have I?"
"You hain't," said Pliny, at last enlightened as to Scattergood's desire
in the matter.
"G'-by, Pliny."
"G'-by, Scattergood."
An hour later Jed Lewis sauntered past the store and stopped. "Pliny
Pickett says you want to see me, Scattergood."
"Said that, did he? Told you I said I wanted to see you?"
"Wa-al, maybe not exactly. Not in so many words. But he kind of hinted
around and pecked around till I figgered that was what the ol' coot was
gittin' at."
"Um!... Didn't tell him nothin' of the kind, but as long's you're here
you might as well set. Hain't seen much of you lately. How's the
hayin'?"
"Too much rain. Got her cocked twice and had to spread her ag'in to
dry."
"Hear any politics talked around, Jed?"
"Nothin' special."
Jed was brief in his answers. He seemed depressed, and conducted himself
like a man who had something on his mind.
"Any fresh news from anywheres?"
"Hain't heard none."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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